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how to survive the terrible twos

in one parenting magazine i finally got to the gritty truth about toddlers. the full blown honesty blew me away. it made me laugh, but at the same time was very informative, but for some reason i can't buy it off the shelf. i think it was just "parent" magazine, but i read it so long ago i can't remember. but in one of their articles it goes on to tell me about how toddlers are like neadertals. they can't communicate properly, so their only other way of communication is to throw a tantrum.

i'll ask for advice every so often and i'll get a "don't worry, you'll get through it" what i would like is some cold hard honest horror stories from each and every one of your gals' book. i want grocery store tantrums, and how you got through it. i'm told from parenting books that i need to "negotiate" with my child. how did you deal with your child? i want something i can compare to my own. something i can work with, & make it my own.

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nuklear

Asked by nuklear at 8:50 PM on Jun. 29, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 4 (47 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • We have never had a grocery store melt down. We do however have them at home. When she starts I send her to her room and tell her she can come out when she has calmed down. I stand near her door so that if she comes out I point back to her room and the shrieking continues. She MUST be calm for 1 min before I will ALLOW her to come out. Starting tomorrow it will be 2 min because we are officially 2. You can't "negotiate" with someone who can't communicate with you. They need to understand that when you say no or not now then that is what you meant. I wish you luck and I promise they do get better the closer they actually get to 2 and you will then hit the defiant 3's. I wish you luck.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 8:54 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • Well said coala!!! That is what I do. I do not put up with it. You have stay with the same routine. They do learn real quick. I give my daughter a time out. and for the most part she stops. My daughter also knows if she does not, she will go for another one. She is 2.5 and today was bad.
    sta517

    Answer by sta517 at 8:59 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • The terrible twos are nothing compared to the tumultuous threes.

    Honestly, you're the parent. Set the rules, keep the rules. Consistency is the key to all discipline with kids, f all ages. When you say you are going to do something, don't make it an empty threat, do it. I have never had to leave the grocery store because of a temper tantrum, I stop it as soon as it starts. I tell my kids the rules before we leave the house (my older two know them by heart now, but my youngest is only 3.5 so she's still learning the rules). And then I tell them the consequences for breaking the rules (examples: no ice cream, no tv, time out, etc). And yes, I have put my children in time out in the grocery store. If one of my kids starts to act out while we're in the store, we go back to where the bathrooms are and my child will be standing in the corner. I've never gotten dirty looks, only approving ones. It works. Good luck!
    momof3inTN

    Answer by momof3inTN at 9:05 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • I agree with the first answer. At home, when he loses it and won't stop screaming or throwing things I send him to bed to calm down. Its gotten to where whenever he gets flustered he runs into the room himself, without me saying anything.

    Thankfully the only problem we tend to have in public is his impatience in the grocery store, but if he eats before we go he usually gets through it better. I think seeing all the food and not getting any of it upsets him if he's even a little hungry...
    bandgeek521

    Answer by bandgeek521 at 9:24 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • i have had grocery store tantrums. only at the store that has the kid size grocery carts. there were cart crashes between the two older boys, there were not too hard bumps into other people, there were screams too! that was from my 3 yo!!! he got time outs right in the store. one trip to the store had 3 or 4 time outs, and i found he got giggles from other people...so i had to re think the strategy! we quit using the little carts all together, and everything was fine!
    that boy is now 5 and he still has tantrums.not as often though! he goes to his room for them.
    i think consistency is very important! our children need to know what their boundaries are. they will always test them!
    never take a temper prone child out at nap time or meal time. that is testing them beyond their limits. some kids can deal with it, but many can't!
    good luck mama!
    i agree--no negotiating with a child, 2, 12 or 18.
    happy2bmom25

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 9:59 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • Question to the previous answers - at what age did you start putting your children in "time outs" in their rooms?? Mine is 16 months and I don't know if that's too early for him to understand why he's in there.

    Thanks!
    crystalbean2

    Answer by crystalbean2 at 12:54 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

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