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why doesnt she care?

today was the last day of school for my daughter...yesterday we got a newsletter saying that one of the girls in my daughters class (kindergarten) had been murdered. the childs stepfather slit her throat, and she died!! apparently he was arguing with his wife, the childs mom, and they were arguing on how to discipline the lil girl, he finally said , fine i'll deal with it, went down stairs and slit her throat. so sad, so tragic!!! anyhow, my daughter, is just totally not phased by her classmate dying!! i've talked to her about it, and she doesnt say anything..i ask her if she has questions, she says no..i asked if she was sad, she said i guess..arent kids supposed to have like a bazillion questions??!! my daughter never does, about anything!!!

 
alexis_06

Asked by alexis_06 at 2:14 AM on Jun. 30, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 42 (146,031 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • she may not understand the finality of it. Shes young. SHe may come to you with questions later. Let her be naive while she can about murder and death. If she asks u, then explain, but she may be dealing in her own way with it. Right now, shes just being a kid. :)
    kateyez2214

    Answer by kateyez2214 at 2:19 AM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • She is only 4, 5 maybe 6
    your daughter isn't going to understand that a girl, who may have been her friend is dead. My uncle died when I was 4 and a half, it took me weeks to figure out he wasn't coming back. The only reason I realized was because he didn't drive me to school and I started getting confused. It was a tragic loss for me but even for me it took a while no realize he was gone, never returning, and I usually saw him all the time.

    Your daughter is not expecting to see any of her friends from school. So she does not realize her friend is never coming back. She might realize later but not now. Don't force her to feel bad, or give her any extra grief.

    Just let her react and when she goes back to school or finally realizes she can't contact this girl you can better explain what death is.
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 2:22 AM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • Maybe it is too much for her to process. Does she fully understand death? not all children this age do. Was it someone she was friends with? That is so sad, I cant even imagine the terror that little girl felt when she died, some people are just sick and screwed up, the step dad will get whats coming to him as soon as he enters the prison system. It sounds crazy but in prisons there are just some crimes that even the criminals find unacceptible and anything that hurts a child will earn a person a very quick trip to their grave.

    Has the school offered grief counselors? I would take her in if they do.
    3_ring_circus_

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 2:21 AM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • wow.that is a terrible and tragic story..well, maybe she doesnt understand it, not even enough to have a question..does she know what death is ? i mean she is pretty young..it isnt anything bad, shes just a kid, maybe just let her come to you when shes ready, and dont press it or even give her too much information until she asks.. this is what i thinki would do..
    ahasugar

    Answer by ahasugar at 2:22 AM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • I agree with everyone else. Dont push it. Let her come to you with questions when she's ready.

    I just read this story on here too. Thats so sad I cant believe someone would do that to their kid. It's sick and wrong and I hope that guy gets what he deserves.
    jojolicious220

    Answer by jojolicious220 at 2:26 AM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • I agree with everyone else as well

    When I was 9 yrs old me and a friend were playing in the street when two men(who we both knew from their kids) fought and one ended up shooting the other...

    I had no questions didn't REALLY grasp the whole reality of it all..

    Let her know that she can always come to you with questions and take it as they come.

    good luck
    tntmom1027

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 2:32 AM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • kids that age don't really understand the finality of death my younger siblings were 5,7, and 9 when our older sister died, they didn't really understand what was going on. They didn't cry when our parents told us, the youngest didn't even really get it when we went to the wake. Just let her have this peace, don't force her to be traumatized over that poor little girls murder.
    GigantaursMommy

    Answer by GigantaursMommy at 2:52 AM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • She may just be thinking about it, she may have questions after a few days,
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 10:31 AM on Jun. 30, 2010

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