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4 Bumps

Seriously!-Friend

My cousin/friend has issues. She is 33 but really has the maturity of a 12 yr old. (I'm not saying this to be mean- something is really wrong with her). She has a 9 yr old dd and isnt a very good parent. I go out of my way to include her in things even though it is very annoying. Lately she has been depressed and saying stuff on fb about how she has "no real friends NOT EVEN ONE" is what her status says today. She basically wants to just complain all the time to a friend and hear NO suggestions or advice. I cant just listen to it anymore. I'm sick of going out of my way to be her friend and listening to crap like this later. I knw this all sound sso mean but she is so needy and just drags down everyone around her. I am thinking of deleting her on fb..Is that the wrong thing to do? I have done sooo much for her even taken her and her dd on vacation but she will always mope and say no one cares about her...

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:49 AM on Jun. 30, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • I wouldn't delete her, I'd just disregard her comments. Remember it is Facebook, just an online forum not too different than this one.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 9:54 AM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • Anychance you can get her to a professional? even her primary care physician can diagnosis any mental health issues (sounds alot like anxiety, depression) for the sake of her child, stay in her life so that the child knows there are alternatives to livign other than what they are being exposed to.
    dcawoman

    Answer by dcawoman at 9:54 AM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • Deleting her on facebook, is a pretty immature thing to do. You should sit down with her and tell her how you feel.
    jreneei

    Answer by jreneei at 9:54 AM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • I would first write her and let her know that you have cared very much for her have included her etc. But you can no longer keep it up because it is a drain on you mentally and physically. And that you need a break. I would be upfront with her and let her know you are going to unfriend her. Sounds like she needs a wake up call. good luck
    justgrape723

    Answer by justgrape723 at 9:54 AM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • Debbie-downers...I am a firm believer that who you hang around with is how you eventually become. I had a friend somewhat like this and she was always bringing me down. I couldn't feel guilty for leaving her behind since she has built the life she wanted...face it, if you want to be depressed (not intended towards those with hormone issues) then you will be.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 9:56 AM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • She's an attention whore. If you can't draw clear boundaries that she can understand and will follow then cut her loose. I have a sister like that. I don't talk to her if I don't have to. She is fucking useless and she whines and cries about how bad her life is constantly but won't do anything to change it because that would actually involved her standing on her own 2 feet for once and would leave her with one less thing to get attention for. Arg I get mad just typing and thinking about this. LOSERS!
    MizusT

    Answer by MizusT at 9:57 AM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • Be nice to her daughter but distance yourself from her other then some cordial conversation, don't get involved with her drama.

    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 9:58 AM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • I agree with dcawoman...sounds like there is something going on with her that she needs real help with. I also agree about her daughter. I wouldn't delete her off facebook- I'd jsut maybe comment that she IS loved even if she doesn't realise it
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 9:58 AM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • As I've gotten older & busier I've had to cut out some toxic friends of my own. Some ppl just like to complain & play the victim role & frankly I don't have the energy to deal w/ unneccessary drama! Try talking to her about your concerns & recommend she get counseling, then inform her that you are no longer going to be listening to her complain. Its okay for her to approach you w/ real concerns (unless you're totally done dealing w/ her then leave this part out). Explain to her that you feel that all she ever has to say is negative & you want to hear about the postitives, not be drug down by her. How you respond really depends on what kind of relationship you want to have w/ her from here on out. You said she's your cousin, is cutting her out of your life going to create even more drama? Do you ever see her in RL? Deleting her may cause more drama then you want. GL!
    Nyx7

    Answer by Nyx7 at 10:02 AM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • I agree with twinsplus2more
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:02 AM on Jun. 30, 2010

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