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Can a relationship work if two people have different morals/values?

We agree on the major things like, no cheating, no lying, no drugs, etc. But it seems like the smaller things are killing us.

Can a relationship really work if two people just don't agree?


Asked by Anonymous at 11:39 AM on Jun. 30, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I think that it can work but its a lot of effort. I think its not worth the effort in the long run and that relationships should be easy. Not to mention when you have children and you can't agree on the right values and morals to set and don't want particular ones your partner has then it gets even worse. I really don't think relationships should be hard...they should be easy.

    Answer by keyaziz at 11:43 AM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • IMHO, two mature and considerate adults can disagree on a lot and make it work. But when you involve kids, your core values need to be in line because you have to pick a lane so to speak. There are not many things that I can think of that are serious deal breakers to me, but the ones that are? Well, my SO and I have to be on the same page.

    When you say "little things" it makes me think of stuff like putting down the toilet seat or using bleach on whites, or gas vs electric stoves. Being flexible on stuff like that and choosing your battles is wise. In that list, the only thing I'm adamant about is gas stoves. And guess what? We don't have one at his house. Yet. But we will! LOL He bends on that. I give up on the laundry and let him do it his way.

    Answer by BuddyRoo at 12:01 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • Of course... We don't even agree on all those things you listed! But we are very happily married. You have to be willing to bend and accept small differences - both of you do! That's just how marriage works - learn to work together and not against each other and you'll be just fine.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 11:51 AM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • can you give an example of the "smaller things"

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 11:40 AM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • Sure , it can work as long as the two individulas agree to accept one another the way they are.

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 11:41 AM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • It can if you agree on the issue of respect and what that means to each of you.

    Answer by Anna92464 at 11:42 AM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • The issues youmentioned are important but they arent day to day things ate all. What about religion, child rearing, family values, eductation..there are many things you should talk about and base a reltionship on. Just because you dont do drugs and dont lie doesnt mean you should spend your life together. You should have more values that you agree on in my opinion.

    Answer by ria7 at 11:45 AM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • I guess it depends on the severity of the "smaller" things. I think that you can - it's nearly impossible to find someone who thinks and feels the exact same way you do. It's important to be understanding and accepting of your spouse's beliefs, though.

    As far as major views, like religious beliefs, I don't think it's a good idea to enter a committed relationship with someone who doesn't see similarly to you. I think it's asking for future trouble.

    Answer by mickstinator at 1:00 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • I think if you could give examples of the small things it would help.

    Answer by salexander at 4:11 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • You may forget all about those little things if you had bigger and better things to think about- like some hot sex the two of you had or a great time going out together. I've found when I'm frustrated with life or our relationship the little things eat me up, but when I'm really happy, busy, or distracted by good positive things, it seems like those little things don't matter as much. It'd be worth giving it a try. Do something together both of you enjoy (and if you don't have that you're really in trouble) and see if it doesn't help some.

    Answer by AlleyK at 9:43 PM on Jun. 30, 2010