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Advice please

My son will be 5 on Aug 24th. He is VERY smart. I know from an educational stand point he is ready for school. I should mention he is #4 out of 5 oldest being 24 yrs old. I am not new to this first day of school gig. However, he worries me emotionally. I feel to hold him back a year would be a bad thing as he is so smart and basically shows me every day he is ready to go. He won't do things away from home alone. He has stayed the night at my MIL twice in 5 yrs. So we tried preschool last year, he cried and cried so I didn't want to force him. So this year I tried 4 days of vacation bible fail! He refused to let us leave, so we stayed, he refused to participate...I dread the first day of school. I don't want him traumatized, but I don't think it is right to hold him back...he will be bored. What to do?


Asked by salexander at 2:17 PM on Jun. 30, 2010 in Just for Fun

Level 26 (28,366 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I would hold him back. He will be the youngest in the class. Next year he will be the oldest in the class - much better. I would sign him up for preschool next year. I think they have to be ready emotionally as well as intellectually. I'm holding my son back. His birthday is Sept. 9. Good luck!

    Answer by mompam at 2:20 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • home school?

    Answer by jennifer588 at 2:18 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • my DS makes the K cutoff here by 5 days, and we are holding him out a year because of concerns about his emotional preparedness as well

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 2:18 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • I wouldn't push him into school if he is not emotionally ready, especially if your state law doesn't require that he attend until 6-years-old. You can always informally homeschool until then. Best wishes!

    Answer by Erin814 at 2:19 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • Wow. Tough question. I wanted to hold my son back but he was intellectually ready. There was another little boy in his class, though, who cried and cried, even weeks into the class. I don't remember now, but I suspect he was held back for emotional immaturity. Talk to the teacher or the principal at the school and see what they recommend.

    Answer by Bmat at 2:20 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • My son's birthday is 1 day before the cut-off; I did not send him to K last year because I knew he wasn't ready. He went to Pre-K instead and will be going to K this fall - 6 days before his 6th birthday. There is nothing wrong with waiting another year and sending him to Pre-K for the social interaction and to learn to be away from you instead. Good luck, mama

    Answer by beckie66 at 2:21 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • Does your area have half day kindergarten? He might surprise you this fall and be ready. try the "big boy"speech and use some reverse psychology and tell him that you don't think he can go because he's not a big boy yet! Maybe hitting the ego could help. Make a big thing out of getting the school supplies,and let him pick out the stuff.

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 2:22 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • Can you spend the rest of the summer REALLY working on curing his separation anxiety and fostering his independence? That's the only thing I can think of to help avoid an awful scene for both of you on the first day of school. I don't know exactly what you could do to help that, maybe some other Mom's will have ideas. You're in a tough spot for sure. If it were me I might give him another year if you can't get him more comfortable. Does he play sports or anything like that, where he would be on his own a bit more? Does he go to daycare? I would be looking for places for him to go to get a bit of separation under his belt so kindergarten isn't such a change for him. Good luck!

    Answer by MaryMW at 2:22 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • While it is important that he is smart, it is actually more important that they are ready socially. A kindergarten teacher told me that she is surprised how many children aren't ready for kindergarten when they start because their social development isn't where it should be. This year they had to hold back a quarter of the kids basically for that reason. There were some learning disabilities but not many. Give him another year to grow and become comfortable with himself. Enroll him in a preschool program that he can attend at least weekly if not twice or three times a week. He will definitely be ready next year and will blossom too.

    I have taught preschool for a lot of years and done licensed daycare too. I think every parent thinks their child is smart. I am so glad you are so proud of your son. Take the time and let him develop so he is comfortable at school.

    Answer by Lifes-A-Dance at 2:23 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • Good advice ladies thanks. He does not play sports, but loves to hit the ball in the yard. He does not go to daycare. I am blesed to have a 19 yr old DD that stays with him and his younger brother who is 13 months younger. I also have a DD who is 16 and she is with them in the summer too. DH and I work, so homeschool is not an option. He would be attending a small Catholic school, only one class of K. He talked about vacation bible school like he wanted to go...but once there he totally shut down. I think it is because he never did have to be on his own, he has always had family around. DH had been laid off for the past year and finally got called back this May. I only work 3 days a week in the cold months. I really need to find a way to foster independance and soon! Maybe a year of preschool will help....if I can get him to go without freaking out. He could attend the preschool where he would go to K.

    Comment by salexander (original poster) at 2:29 PM on Jun. 30, 2010