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how to be a good step mom

well i have a 4yr old of my own and i'm expecting my little girl with my partner but he also has 5yr son. my partner and i have a great relationship but when his son is with us for his weekend visit he acts up with me but only when were alone. he'll cuss at me and when i ask him to do something like eat your food or go put your shoes on he'll tell me your not my mom. and well he's right. my son is completely oppiste he listens and does what he's told but my partners son tends to hit and yell and when i talked to my partner about his behaivor he tells me well i've never herd him cuss ior he doesn't act like that when i'm around. its starting to get fustrating and i don't want my son to think he can act like that and also get away with it like my step son does what should i do? i've tried being nice to him and understanding but its hard to be nice to some one that acts a fool the minuite his parent isn't there

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cherryvixen87

Asked by cherryvixen87 at 4:00 PM on Jun. 30, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • OK you need to figure out a way to get this recorded. It will put a strain on your and your SO's relationship. If say you have a video camera you can stick it somewhere he can't see it or something. Show your SO and then he can do something! GOOD LUCK!
    delilahsmom1177

    Answer by delilahsmom1177 at 4:05 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • Family meeting. His father needs to explain to him that when he is with you, what you say goes. I can understand the kid's frustrations but his behavior us unacceptable.
    He needs to hear from his dad that he needs to listen to you and the cussing won't fly.
    He sounds like he's trying to see how far the boundaries go with you and it needs stopped before they go too far.
    It sounds like you're doing what you can, but it really needs to come from his dad, and if he is on good terms with the kid's biological mom, from her too.
    Good luck!
    Kiwismommy19

    Answer by Kiwismommy19 at 4:05 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • Oh I forgot to add, show him lots of love even if he doesn't want it. He is sad his mommy and daddy are not together and even though they have been apart for so long it is like you are stealing him from the family. I am sorry this is happening but you MUST show him that no matter waht you love him. My step sons are golden 98% of the time(really and I amwith them everyday they are ooddly very well behaved kids) but if say we have a problem I always make sure to tell them that I love them and care as much as their mom and dad! They are 9 by the way.
    delilahsmom1177

    Answer by delilahsmom1177 at 4:15 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • He needs to understand that you are still an adult and deserve respect. Your bf or whatever has to help you with this one.
    LostTheSlipper

    Answer by LostTheSlipper at 5:30 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

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