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How do you keep your cool?

I have a 3 yr old son, who really is a good kid. But he has a mother (ME!) who has a short and nasty temper. Sometimes I feel like I yell at him WAY to often, way too fast, and even about some of the DUMBEST things. I just don't know how to fix this. I love him so much...and it's sad to see him screaming when he gets upset all because he sees me do it. Other mothers make it look SOOOO easy to stay calm...I just can't seem to do it! I don't know if I get upset about the wrong things or what...but generally if I ask or tell him to do something and he doesn't listen...that's all it takes to send me through the roof. (regardless of how insignificant the request may have initially been). My job has been stressful, so I've been trying to ... relax when it comes to that, so it doesn't make me snap at him... but other than that...I'm not sure what to do.

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Asked by ProudSingleMum at 6:34 PM on Jun. 30, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 5 (60 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Try getting some time away from him, that will lengthen the fuse, and look into anger management classes. I'm a short tempered mother myself, but I've learned that if I think before I act, I have time to check myself and make sure my reaction is appropriate.

    Answer by BisketLiss at 6:36 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • When I feel like I'm going to lose my cool with my little one, I start exercising all of my frustrations out. It really helps. If I have time, I follow it up with a meditation to further the calming effect.

    Answer by PhoenixFire at 6:36 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • Taking a parenting class changed my life! My oldest child has ADHD, I have young twins, and my husband and I both work. We were feeling really frustrated when we decided to take a Love & Logic parenting class. I was very skeptical at first, but after a couple of weeks everyone in our home was calmer. It was an incredible change, and a year and half later it's still working for us.

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 6:46 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • I have little patience. I cant take crying and screaming for no reason, it does something to me. I was yelling at her for no reason and making the situation worst. Now I just have to walk away. When she is screaming and crying and wont talk. I say one time, Camryn Im not talking to you until you calm down, use your words I dont understand and I walk away. When she is calm she usually comes tell me what she wants.
    I find I just have to walk away. Even at the mall, she throws herself out the stroller or put her foot by the wheels. I nicely pick her up put her back in the stroller and look her straight in the face and say, Stop it and Im only saying it once. If you want something, you need to say it, got it.
    Her behavior is getting better.

    Answer by lilmsnay83 at 11:04 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • I am 8 1/2 months pregnant, and add hormones to hot temps and my temper can get better of me at times. My daughter can be very stubborn and it irritates me to no end when we are having one of "those days" where she pushes her limits. I have learned over time that when she starts acting that way, she is trying to get a reaction out of me. And as hard as it is to now show it, I have to put up a front that she isn't bothering me. There are times I have to leave the room to breathe or give myself time to gather my thoughts. Yelling and screaming only leads to tears on her end, and guilt on my end. And 9 times out of 10, the screaming match doesn't solve anything. I have also learned that talking quietly will get her attention better than screaming will. I know it's hard, but when you feel like you are about to lose control of your temper, walk away. Take a deep breath, gather your thoughts and start over again.


    Answer by lovebugs_mom at 11:11 AM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • I feel the same way as you do sometimes. I never had any trouble til i got pregnant with our second baby and my hormones still seem to be off, and i think that is making it hard for me to stay calm. I don't have much advice, cause i need to work on it too...but sometimes if i can catch myself getting mad and i tell myself "this is NOT worth it!" it helps me to let it go. Some things he needs to be corrected about, but others just really aren't worth yelling about. Just gotta keep telling myself that! Some days are better than others, but when i really try to talk to myself about it, things go better overall!

    Answer by stykir at 4:57 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • i am with you on this one... thank you for your question, because i know that there are other moms feeling the same way.. and the worst part is the guilt that one feels after one of those days... but like i said last night tommorrow is a new day, lets start fresh... i started doing this weird thing.. arms and hands up like cleopatra and i say ZEN MOMMY AHOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM...... usually distracts her, but i think that she is on to me cuz it did not work today.. just like my 1 2 ............ waiting alot longer till i get to 3... she is on to me..... yea sometimes i think that i am not meant to be a mommy, but i know that is not true... i work alot and my husband stays home with abby, so i think that it is sometimes i just dont know her.. but the whining and the constant playing my husband and i like puppets makes me think that she is the smartest one in the whole family... i dont know... keep your chin up

    Answer by cristyn at 12:32 AM on Jul. 10, 2010

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