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It's a scam, how do we tell her?

A friend of mine, who is in her early 50's has recently decided to start dating again. She joined a popular online dating site (the same one where I met my DH 6 years ago). She has 'met' a man and has instantly fell in love. Much of what she has told us has raised a lot of red flags. We have asked her to procede with caution, but she has been telling us that she is a big girl. I have decided to try and do some research on this guy and have come up with NOTHING. I then googled "online dating scams" and came across a scam where a man claims to be a widow, currently working out of the country and has a young child. This matches her new man exactly. I then found a copy of a letter someone posted that a scammer had emailed to her. Again, it was pretty much the same format, just slightly different wording. We are concerned about her, but we are afraid she won't listen to us. How do we tell her?

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layh41407

Asked by layh41407 at 6:39 PM on Jun. 30, 2010 in Relationships

Level 36 (79,415 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • Present her with the information, coach it with concern. Tell lots of people get tricked by this which is why its become such a common scam. Most importantly think of ways you can minize her embrassment. Also report the scam to the online dating company. Hopefully they will pull the profile.
    FuzNet

    Answer by FuzNet at 6:44 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • unfortunately she is right 'she is a big girl' You voiced your concerns and thats all you can do. Anything more will just cause resentment. IF something does happen try to avoid the 'I told you so' as well.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 6:44 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • She's supposed to be meeting him for the first time by picking him up at the airport, as he is flying back to the US this weekend. If I'm right, he will be postponing his flight and asking her for money.
    layh41407

    Comment by layh41407 (original poster) at 6:44 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • Show her the evidence that you've found. Try again to reason with her. Beyond that, she's right. She's a big girl and she'll have to make her own mistakes and live with them. I know it's hard to watch, but I dont see any other choice.
    new_mom808

    Answer by new_mom808 at 6:45 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • We haven't given her the scam information. We just thought what she had told us had a lot of red flags.
    layh41407

    Comment by layh41407 (original poster) at 6:45 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • Well then tell her "Hon, I don't know if this is a scam or not but if he cancels and asks for money I would be seriously suspect. Good luck and I hope your Mr. wonderful turns out to be just that ...wonderful."
    FuzNet

    Answer by FuzNet at 6:48 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • I would tell her before she gets taken.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 6:49 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • Tell her all the facts and say that you are only here to support her. You understand she is a big girl but eeryone needs help sometimes and that time is now. Goodluck, I'm scared for her if she doesn't listen to you.
    ProudMammaMia

    Answer by ProudMammaMia at 6:50 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • First of all, present the information you have. Suggest she sends no money. Obviously it sounds like a scam. If she doesn't listen, then she'll regret it later. I hope she listens to her friends.

    PinkRose282

    Answer by PinkRose282 at 6:52 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • Tell her what you know!!! Tell her that this is a common scam and the next step is to cancel the flight and ask for money. If this happens and she actually gives him money....well you have done all that you can do.
    ErinRenee815

    Answer by ErinRenee815 at 8:00 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

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