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2 Bumps

He shoved me...is it abuse??

My s.o. was at my house today, sleeping during the day after working a graveyard shift. He wasn't in the best mood because he was so tired. Well anyway, when he got up this evening, he got dressed for work and entered the kitchen. He was getting a drink, and I spontaneously hugged him. He kinda shoved me and said,

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:54 PM on Jun. 30, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • How long have you been with him? If you know him well then maybe he was just moody. If you felt offended maybe you can talk to him when he's in a better mood and let him know that it was wrong for him to shove you when your just trying to be affectionate with him. His actions can cause an emotional abuse later without even knowing.

    PinkRose282

    Answer by PinkRose282 at 7:14 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • It doesn't really sound like abuse, more like annoyance and being moody.
    If you feel threatened or scared of him, however, it's a more serious thing. You shouldn't feel that way in your own home.

    If it arises again, I would definitely make a bigger deal out of it, but if this was his one time type of deal, he apologized, and he is having a tough time at work, well... let it go. For now.
    ManicMomma02

    Answer by ManicMomma02 at 6:55 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • Not abuse, but maybe an indication that he is not the right man for you.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 6:56 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • I would let it go. He wasn't acting out of anger or anything and you said he "kind of" shoved you. What does that mean exactly? He pushed you away gently?

    If he had shoved you hard then I would be a little concerned but from what you've written it doesn't sound like abuse to me.
    Laila-May

    Answer by Laila-May at 6:57 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • Honestly I can say one way or another without more information. The important thing here is it made you uncomfortable. Talk to your man explain how it made you feel and why its a sensitive subject. Ask if he can be mindful of your sensitivity to this issue.
    If you feel you can't do that because it might upset him, then there might be cause to worry? If not see if the two of you can work it out, after all that is what healthy realtionships are all about.
    FuzNet

    Answer by FuzNet at 6:58 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • well i think it really depends on how he really shoved you. He shouldn't have done it and you should talk to him and tell him why your so hurt by it and that it can not happen again or you will leave him. If any thing even close ever happens i think its the first singes of abuse that can go much farther than just a shove.
    calilove33

    Answer by calilove33 at 7:01 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • When you say shove, was it a gentle push or enough to throw you off balance?
    I cannot imagine my husband ever pushing me away even if he was having a terrible day, if I offered him affection.
    KTMOM

    Answer by KTMOM at 7:01 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • Abuse depends on the shove you recieved. Wether you was thrown off balance or left a mark. Yet there is no accuse for anyone shoving you no matter how their day had gone. But if you think its abuse to you go to the next step. If not just shrug it off and go about your day :)
    firstbaby_2010

    Answer by firstbaby_2010 at 7:08 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • I would let him know how you feel about physical contact and where it stems from your Mom being abused. I personally probably would have taken it personally and put up my guard too. If my DH ever pushed me it would be a sign that we needed to get help. Even if he is having a bad day I would be worried. But thats just the way I am. I don't take any physical contact that is not affectionate very well at all.
    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 7:08 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • I guess it depends on if he tossed your across the room, or turned around and pushed you. From what your post says it sounds like he was moody, and kind of moved you away with maybe his arm, hand or what ever. But has he ever done this before? Please be honest, so we can maybe try and see the big picture.
    bellamommyof4

    Answer by bellamommyof4 at 7:10 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

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