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5 Bumps

NEED ADVICE, PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME

well i meet my daughter dad when i was like 14 and we start dating but when i was 15 .thought that if i got pregnant on porpose we would be together forever and i could get the love i never got at home! so after that when i told him i was pregnant he didn't support me at all, he told me he was to young to be a dad.
Before i got pregnant he used to abuse me. after i told my family and him no one really support my decision to keep the baby. when i went in labor no one was there to hold my hand not my mom or even him... no one visit me or my daughter.
But since she born he only saw her like 2 times and she is now 11 months old, and now he told me he want to me back , he want to raise our daughter together but how i know he is talking serious? how i'm suppost to know that he won't change his mind? that he will be there in her birthdays? that he won't hurt me?
should i let him be in our life's?should i let her be daddy little girl?

Answer Question
 
Sofiah

Asked by Sofiah at 8:16 PM on Jun. 30, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 9 (300 Credits)
Answers (51)
  • WOw Honey.... Just walk away till he can proof he's changed.
    sillyme85

    Answer by sillyme85 at 8:19 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • I would give him that chance and have a back up plan just incase only time will tell GL Sounds like you are willing to make it work out.
    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 8:20 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • Just from the line that you said "Before I got pregnant he used to abuse me" my answer would be no. That is not the kind of environment that you or your baby needs to be in.
    And then there is the fact that she is 11 months old and he has only saw her 2 times? Why the sudden interest in her now?
    Big huge NO answer from me, I wouldnt let him be in your life. No way.
    Out of curiosity.....
    Has he been paying child support? Does he have any parental rights?
    dakajazz23

    Answer by dakajazz23 at 8:21 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • take it slow and make him prove his self to u!
    DeeMarie87

    Answer by DeeMarie87 at 8:21 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • Uhm, no, I would not be taking him back so easily, purely for the fact that you stated that he used to abuse you.
    I'm having a lot of issues with this... I realize you were young, and love stricken, etc, etc... but now that you're a little older, and have a baby to think of... don't you think it was a bad idea to get pregnant on purpose? With a man who used to beat you? And I agree, you both were too young to get pregnant.
    I would let him see his daughter, but I would be watching him like a frickin hawk. One sign of mistreatment and out the door he goes. I wouldn't leave him alone with her either.
    If you do want to get back together with him, I would take things slow. Very slow. And trust your head and heart, and also think of your daughter first.
    The first signs of anger/abuse, and you should run the other way, and not look back.
    ManicMomma02

    Answer by ManicMomma02 at 8:22 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • do not take him back. ask yourself why after all this time decided he want you and your baby.please think your situation long and hard before you say yes to him again
    ymadaris2

    Answer by ymadaris2 at 8:22 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • He abused you? I don't care if it was only once, he isn't worth it! Do you want to subject your baby to that abuse? Or grow up seeing it? Thinking its ok? I've read statistics about how little girls grow up looking for a man like their father? You don't want her to be with an abuser. Just stay away. There are men out there that will treat you right. Wait and find that prince!
    Lifes-A-Dance

    Answer by Lifes-A-Dance at 8:24 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • Stay Away!!!! Spend a year or two working on yourself. Seek out some counseling. We don't all get the support that we need from our families but there is help out there. If after a year or so of working on yourself with a professional you are still interested in this guy then take it SLOW! Encourage him to get the help that he needs as well. If he is able to do that, there might be a chance for a healthy future for you and him together. Those are some big if's honey. Good Luck with everything.
    ErinRenee815

    Answer by ErinRenee815 at 8:25 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • Get as far away from him as you can. Run and run fast. NO real man walks out on his child and no real man would EVER EVER EVER put his hands on a female. Period Period
    mamakirs

    Answer by mamakirs at 8:29 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • DAKAJAZZ23
    HE NEVER PAID ANYTHING! not even a diaper anything! no one paid anything for my daughter only me. i had to sell my own things to buy everything she would need when she was inside of me. and now i work fulltime to pay everything we both need.
    Sofiah

    Comment by Sofiah (original poster) at 8:31 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

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