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Discipline in public?

Ok so I am a person whom seems to care to much what people think. Not good on my part. Anyways, this is probably for the people who don't care what people think. How do you deal with people staring at you when you discipline in public? You can't just let your children walk all over you. But I know people always look at you funny. Even if you aren't hitting, because that is something I would never do in public. And I am not a screamer either. But if your child is crying and upset they still stare. It really makes me feel like I have done something wrong. How do I get myself to thinking that I am doing the right thing? I don't judge if someone is disciplining their child, unless it was abusive. Thanks for the advice. My daughter is almost 4 and already has an attitude and I want her to know that I am the boss. But when it comes to dealing with it publicly I get nervous of what people think. Thanks!!! :)

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DAH02

Asked by DAH02 at 10:38 PM on Jun. 30, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 3 (23 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • It is so hard because you never know what other people are going to do, and I don't care what they think. I try to wait until we get to the car if I can to scold him. If my son is being really bad then I pick him up and let him kick and scream and cry if need be, and I don't care who sees.
    beckie66

    Answer by beckie66 at 10:53 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • I've never seen a point in worrying about what others think. And frankly, even if I did, I would rather they saw me caring for my child than letting my child run crazy! I mean, as a mom, what would you rather see? A child who won't or doesn't have to listen? Or a parent who isn't afraid to discipline their child? I have actually been known to go thank parents who discipline their kids in public - it's something to be proud of in my mind... So why would I shy away from it?
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 10:56 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • I get looks but I'll put them in time out right there in the store...LOL...they were crying and sobbing. i told them that they can cry all they want but we aren't budging from the pet food isle until they stop crying and act right. Boy that turned them around quick. Find a punishment or words that work for your kid. Someone will always find something that you are doing wrong. If you don't punish them they will complain. If you do punish them they will complain.


    But you have to realize that it has to be done. They can not think that just because other people around they can do what they want. To not punish them around others says to them (unintentionally) that YOU the parent are doing something wrong. You will be that mom with the out of control kids.  The push over mom.

    SandraRh

    Answer by SandraRh at 10:57 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • The key is to anticipate behavior. If you know DD will want to buy a toy before heading to the grocery, while you two are still in the parkinglot you should tell her, "IF you ask for a toy, THEN I will not buy you any Trix go-gurt;" and "IF you are in a bad mood in this store, THEN we will leave everything and go straight home, where I will send you to your room after I take the TV out of your room." The most important part to the IF/THEN discipline is to follow through. You have to be at the store at a time where it is okay to desert a cart full of groceries in the middle of the isle and march out.

    While in the store, if one of my kids becomes a handful, I get on my knees to look them in the eyes to explain an "IF/THEN." If I notice people looking at us, they usually are smiling. DH and I have actually been complimented on our own separate grocery trips w/ our kids.
    flatlanderjenn

    Answer by flatlanderjenn at 10:59 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • I wouldn't discipline in public, but not because I care what anyone thinks. I'm against it because I don't think it's right to embarrass your child.
    LovingSAHMommy

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 11:00 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • Honestly, I never paid any attention to the people around me when I had to. I don't care what a stranger thinks of me.

    Christine0813

    Answer by Christine0813 at 11:01 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • IDK, If my daughter is having a hard time in a public place, I try to redirect her and if that doesn't work after a few tries, I usually leave.
    Bellarose0212

    Answer by Bellarose0212 at 11:23 PM on Jun. 30, 2010

  • Every parent will tell you that you need to be consistant when it comes to disciplining your child. Even while shopping. I don't spank I offer time outs. If they start to get unruly in the store, then it's time for an instant time out. At this time I put them over my shoulder. They are safe and can't hurt themselves or others,and I can continue to shop. Oh sure I've had people watch me but I smile at them to let them know I am in control of myself and my child is in no immediate danger from me. . Within a few minutes the tantrum is over and my child is back to her happy self. People who stay to watch, see that I am still in control of myself and my child is safe. She gets a great big hug and an " I LOVE YOU" and sometimes an offer of something she wants to do. It's not all about me when it comes to shopping. When you show you can control your emotions people tend to feel at ease with the way you discipline in public.
    truetigress

    Answer by truetigress at 12:41 AM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • I just don't pay attention to what other people are doing when I'm out.  They should mind their own freaking business.  I'm sure I've gotten some looks.  Especially the time I got fed up with my oldest who was throwing a huge tantrum like a 2yo in the middle of Wal-mart so I spanked her bottom (1 swat) after she knocked stuff off the shelf and put her in the seat of the cart.  Oh, did I mention she was like 6 1/2-7 years old at the time.  She had been warned to act her age and didn't so she got treated like a baby.  She's 10 now and can still fit in the seat of the cart and I will put her in there if she acts up.


    I try to avoid shopping with her as much as possible because she acts like a toddler.  My other kids don't act that way and their main punishment instore is to have to walk with their hands on the cart.

    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 1:13 AM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • i honestly don't care, they are my kids and i don't want them to grow up to be f*ck ups. i've had people threaten to call the cops on me, and i had them the phone and offer to do it myself, if you are disciplining your child and not abusing them, there is nothing to worry about.
    kyuteangl88

    Answer by kyuteangl88 at 1:15 AM on Jul. 1, 2010

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