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Do you think it's unfair to have only one child?

I have one child. She's three. Lots of people tell us we "need" to have one more. I would like her to have a sibling but right now it is not feasible, for many reasons. I have lots of family so she has many cousins, and also lots of friends to play with.

What do you think?

 
LittleWeloosMom

Asked by LittleWeloosMom at 3:31 AM on Jul. 1, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 17 (3,776 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • I dont think she "needs" a sibling at all. It would be unfair to her and the new baby if you feel all the things you typed. Dont listen to that stuff.. she has family and other kids to play with.. I think she will be fine. Good luck!
    midnight11287

    Answer by midnight11287 at 3:36 AM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • Personally I think kids need siblings, but i come from a big family and that is what I know and works for me. I have friends who have only one child and those children have cousins and are doing just fine, they are happy healthy kids. I think it depends on each family, some want one child that they can devote themselves to and then there are those of us who are nuts and divide ourselves 2,3,4,5,6.....different ways.

    My baby sister is 6 years younger than me, if having one right now isnt something you want to do then there is nothing wrong with waiting and if you decide you love giving your all to only one child then there is nothing wrong with that either.

    you have to do what feels right to you, not what everyone thinks is right for you.
    3_ring_circus_

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 3:38 AM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • I think people who tell someone they "need" to have another child and are being unfair are rude. They tend to see my point when I tell them as much, too. I've only had a few people try that on me, and they've all regretted it.
    NotPanicking

    Answer by NotPanicking at 3:40 AM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • I have two step-children and my hubby and I have one child together. Our DD is like an only child most of the time. So you do what you want to do when the time is right you and your hubby will be able to have another. My sister and I are 6 1/2 years apart. Sometimes it better like that. When people say something just let it go in one ear and out the other.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 3:56 AM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • I think it has it's pros and cons. I've thought about this a lot actually. I definitely want more kids, but have decided if we are not able to have another one, I would be content with that. With one, you could possibly afford to put them in all the sports and extra curricular activities they would like, buy them a car, pay college tuition. It becomes more expensive and less feasible when you are having to do those things for multiple children. On the other hand, most of the time, siblings have a bond like no other. My brother and I are only 2 years apart and it was like growing up with a best friend that you love and hate lol. I want my child to have that sibling bond.
    GavinsMommii

    Answer by GavinsMommii at 3:42 AM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • No I don't. I think that every family needs to do what works for them. And also as 3 ring circus said there's nothing wrong with waiting longer for one if things aren't feasible now. My only sibling is 12 years younger than me. And my daughter and son are 12 years apart as well.
    CherBearCM

    Answer by CherBearCM at 3:44 AM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • I think its unfair that people think they can decide things for others.. Such as creating another person. I don't think anyone is ever satisfied. When I had my first people always told me I needed a second, Now I have two boys people tell me I need a girl. I'm perfectly happy with the way my family is, and If we have more or not it will be our decisions as parents. Not people who just.. like babies. lol.
    LucasMama08

    Answer by LucasMama08 at 4:06 AM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • I think it's ideal for a child to grow up with siblings, but if it isn't feasible for a family to have more than one, than the pros and cons must be weighed and only you can decide if having a single child is the best option. It sounds like you've made that decision, and it's no one else's business to tell you it was the wrong decision.
    Adelicious

    Answer by Adelicious at 4:28 AM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • i dont see how it is either fair or unfair. having sibs is great, being an only child has its perks too. it is what it is.
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 4:45 AM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • We have one. My favorite response to "when are you having another one" is: We can't figure out how we got this one, will you please explain the process?
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:12 AM on Jul. 1, 2010

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