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why do you think he's saving it? we have a baby now and this happened a year ago, why do you think he's saving this letter in a folder in his email?

ok so before my boyfriend and i were together we were best friends. he was in the process of going into the army. well he was making comments about how horrible life was and the army was his escape, he seemed very depressed and i was concerned so i emailed his recruiter telling him that he might be depressed and to keep a close eye on him to make sure he was stable enough. i sent it and thought nothing of it. two months passed and his recruiter was still having him prepare for the army, at this point we were also in a relationship. then one day out of the blue his recruiter calls him and says that "my name" sent him an email about depression and that disqualified him from the army, the recruiter sent him the email, he was very hurt by what i did and nearly broke up with me but he forgave me. yesterday he told me to go on his email to send him a pic and i saw a folder that said "army letter" i opened it and there was my letter

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:48 AM on Jul. 1, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • did you ever talk to HIM about how he was talking and acting? really talk to him about your concerns BEFORE basically ruining his chances with the military? i have got to say that had he broke up with you honestly, he would have been justied. even though your intent was good, you went about it honestly in the wrong way. you are not his MOTHER.

    with that said. your going out on a limb because you feared for him might be the reason he kept the email. he might be keeping it to remind him of how far he let himself go, the worry it caused you and how it cost him his career. i think you are very fortunate that he has been willing to work this out with you and forgive you. i would let the email go and not make mention of it. he knewit was in there. so he isnt hidingit from you.

    Answer by sati769leigh at 4:59 AM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • YOu can't live with guilt. You did what you did because you love him.

    If it were my husband and it was a negative memory, he would have deleted that e-mail a long time ago. For him to keep it would be a sign that it meant something special to him.

    Answer by Adelicious at 5:13 AM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • Did the army evaluate him before kicking him out? I don't see how one letter not from a mental health professional can do that. You are not a doctor and cannot give a diagnosis.

    That said, he probably keeps it to remind himself of that time. Just don't mention it. He'll delete it when he's ready if he's ready.

    Answer by SalemWitchChild at 5:42 AM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • well he is holding onto it because it meant something to him. what it meant? good or bad? only he knows that, but my experience with men is they dont hold onto stuff like that unless they are also holding on to a grudge. I would ask him directly. I mean you already tried the sneaky route and it was a mess, right? just tell him you saw it and wondered about it...heck maybe he kept it as proof that they are the ones who denied HIM.... good luck.

    Answer by Bearsjen at 7:07 AM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • Yes, that is strange that he dropped him due to one email. They always have a physical & mental check up on them before going into boot camp. Usually recruiters will do anything to ge to a recruit. I'm completely shocked that one email dropped him from joining the Army. Are you sure you did not send it to him in hopes that he might get dropped & not join the army?

    Anyhoo, i wouldn't worry about that email. I've saved all kinds of crap that i later wondered why i saved & eventually i deleted it. Bearsjen could be right, mayeb he is saving it for a good reason.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 8:23 AM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • He may be saving it for his own purposes in case he can later be qualified and just wants to keep the letter that shows the reason why he was disqualified. It may not be kept as a personal thing toward YOU is what I mean.

    Answer by rio_burb at 9:20 AM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • ask him. that's the easiest way to find out - you live with the guy, if you can't read his mind, what makes you think any of us can?

    Answer by figaro8895 at 10:47 AM on Jul. 1, 2010

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