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3 Bumps

HAS ANYONE EVER LOST A LOVED ONE? IF SO HOW LONG DID IT TAKE FOR YOU TO MOVE ON.?

IM HAVING SUCH A HARD TIME, EVERYDAY I THINK IF MY HUSBAND N ITS HARD FOR ME TO LET GO OF HIS STUFFS.. ITS BEEN ALMOST A YEAR AND IM STILL HANGING ON. I CRY EVERY SINGLE DAY AND I GO TO THE CEMETARY EVERY WEEK TO SEE HIM.. HE WAS MY ROCK MY HEART MY SOUL MY EVERYTHING..

Answer Question
 
luvmycruzboyz

Asked by luvmycruzboyz at 7:46 AM on Jul. 1, 2010 in Relationships

Level 4 (41 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I am so sorry. I had lost a loved one.. but in a very different way. It has been two years and till this day it kills me. But to loose a husband.. i dont ever want to know what that feels like... all my sympathy and all hopes for you to find peace inside of you. Take your time in grieving.. there is no right or wrong way..
    midnight11287

    Answer by midnight11287 at 7:53 AM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • There is no set time you should grieve. You will know when its time to move on! dont rush and dont feel like you are doing something wrong by grieving in your own way in time. Just take each day as they come and eventually you will be able to move on. Im sorry for your loss.
    elananme

    Answer by elananme at 7:54 AM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • Everyone is different. I lost a fiance when I was 18, just had a baby girl with him. I didn't start dating until about 2 years afterwards, got engaged, and then married about 4 years later. But feel like I really didn't get over it all until about 9 years after his death. Do whatever you feel is right. Please don't feel like you "should" be over it at a certain time. One thing that really helped me is to go to a group meeting called Erin's House. It's really a place for grieving children, but they had a parents group who had lost a spouse. It was so helpful to be in a room full of people who get how I felt. And it was so laid back, we didn't always talk about death either, it was so nice. Not sure if you have something like that in your city, but it's worth checking out.

    I am so sorry for your loss. When I was grieving I only had one wish, and that was that no one in the world would have to feel that way. good luck.
    Aingls

    Answer by Aingls at 8:02 AM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • I have lost a loved one, I lost my father, and it was horrible. I think grieving is different for each person, and it will be in your own personal time when you are able to let go and move on.
    But, to be honest, I cannot imagine losing my husband. I am so sorry.
    mommy11260

    Answer by mommy11260 at 8:05 AM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • I am so sorry about your loss. There is no timetable for grief. It is a uniquely individual and personal thing. Are you managing to get through each day and accomplish the things that need to get done (meals, laundry, bills, etc)? That is critical. When the grief prevents you from functioning you might need counseling. If you are getting through each day then be good to yourself in some small way. Take a bubble bath, listen to music..........whatever comforts you...........try to do some of that daily. Are you the type who might benefit from grief counseling in a group, etc. I hear it works wonders for some. I am not the type of person. Call local churches, hospitals, the funeral home, or department of health to find such a group. If you have a good friend who will listen talk to her/him.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 8:11 AM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • MORE............I ran out of space.............Going through his things will come in time. I found it helpful to realize that someone else could be benefiting from my loved one's things. And I also found it helpful to give some things, as momentos, to friends who really loved them. There are some thing sthat you will never want to part with.
    I wish you all the best. Remember that your deep grief shows how much you loved him.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 8:14 AM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • i'm so sorry for you loss. i can't imagine losing a spouse. i lost my stepdad 8 years ago, and still to this day have not gotten over it. i can't listen to the song they played at his funeral, and every christmas (he died dec. 7) he comes around and checks in on me.

    let go of his stuff when you're ready, if you're still crying everyday, then let it out..no one is going to judge you. let everything go when you're ready, don't do it because you feel like you have to. feeling like this may never go away, but i promise it does get a little better. good luck sweety, and i wish you the best.
    mom_to_kenzie

    Answer by mom_to_kenzie at 8:14 AM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • I am so sorry. I honestly can't imagine.

    I lost my best friend to cancer a little over a year ago, and I still haven't taken her number out of my phone. I talk to her all the time. The crying stopped a few months ago, but I still get choked up if something reminds me of her. Everyone grieves in their own time, in their own way. Have you thought about grief counseling? Sometimes you just need someone to walk you through the process.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 8:38 AM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • I am so sorry for your loss.
    I lost one of my best friends 5 1/2 years ago and I miss her a lot. The months following her death were the hardest and it felt like a bad dream, but with time I find it easier to remember the good times and the memories we had. I don't think it is anything you can get over, losing someone you love, but by living our lives to honor their memory, and doing good for others, it can make things a little easier.
    KTMOM

    Answer by KTMOM at 9:00 AM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • Aw, hun. I am so sorry for your loss. I can only imagine how difficult it is to lose a husband. I couldn't imagine what it would be like if I lost mine. *hugs*

    I've lost a grandfather who was like a father to me. It took me a very long time to get over it. Maybe a few years and even for a few months after his death, I couldn't bring myself to go over to my grandma's because the pain of him not being there was unbearable. Then I lost my cousin when I was 8, she was 19. She was my best friend and more like a sister to me than a cousin. That was probably the worst experience of my life. I don't think I've ever fully gotten over it. I break down and cry every time I talk about her and it's just hard..
    poptart0325

    Answer by poptart0325 at 9:12 AM on Jul. 1, 2010

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