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3 Bumps

How do you explain a miscarriage to a 4 yr old?

I haven't had one yet, but the doctors told me I more than likely will within the next couple of weeks. My DD is 4 and she is very excited about getting to be a big sister. If this miscarriage happens, I want to handle it the right way with her in hopes that she won't be too hurt or traumatized in any way. Any suggestions on how I can tell her?


Asked by Anonymous at 10:38 AM on Jul. 1, 2010 in Pregnancy

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Can you say, "The doctors made a mistake and mommy's not going to have a baby." We are sad, but we hope we will have one soon. Then next time you are pregnant don't tell her until you are around 6 months if you aren't too big. I had one when my son was 5. We told him something like that. Then I waited so long to tell him when I got pregnant again.

    Answer by mompam at 10:41 AM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • I would tell her that everyone spends a certain amount of time here with us and sometimes we don't even get to meet them before they go on. I would tell her that the baby was here to show us how much we could love someone we have never met and that when the next baby comes, we will know what it means to love before we meet him/her.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:44 AM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • If it were me, and I had already told her that I was pregnant, if I miscarried, I would simply tell her that the baby that was growing in Mommy's tummy had went to live with Jesus. That he had decided our little angel was simply too precious to let go of yet, and so she or he had stayed with him for now. But, that we were really hoping he would pick us another special angel to send to us soon.

    Answer by mommy11260 at 10:45 AM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this... Do you believe in Heaven? You might be able to explain to her that her little brother or sister went to heaven...That's such a tough thing to have to explain. I don;t know what I would tell my little one if that happened... You could explain the circle of life thing maybe. Or that the baby just wasn't healthy adn that this happens sometimes.
    I sure hope everything works out and you don't have to have this conversation with her! I wish you the best.

    Answer by GingerMom33 at 10:45 AM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • wow
    hardest question
    first i am so sorry that you have to wait to see if this happens
    do not give up hope
    I was told (placenta pervia) that I WOULD bleed more, that WHEN i do I most likely will lose the baby and I may have to have a hysterectomy, none of that happened, so i will be praying that you have excellent results and beat all the odds the doctors see

    if you have a faith in God, bring God into it and that her little sister or brother is in heaven, but you have to watch out that she does not blame God or think of heaven as a bad place for taking her sibling

    wow, i guess i have not helped much, but i am praying for you

    Answer by fiatpax at 10:44 AM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • I think MomPam's advice was a lot better than mine! =)

    Answer by GingerMom33 at 10:46 AM on Jul. 1, 2010