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does breastfeeding kill your sex drive?

I used to love sex. Now i cant stand the thought of it. I still love hubby and find him very attractive, but i cant stand even being touched. All started when i became pregnant and i thought it was just the hormones. Now DD is 4 months and I still am disgusted by the thought of having sex. Could it be the hormones from breastfeeding? Anyone else ever go through this? Its ruining my relationship

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:51 AM on Jul. 1, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • It can, yes.

    Answer by lovinangels at 11:53 AM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • It could still be your hormones. I am opposite when I get pregnant and it has continued through breastfeeding. But I also still have a lot of my cravings while nursing that I did while I was pregnant.

    Answer by JamieLK at 11:54 AM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • No, it's not the hormones. The hormones can make you want sex more. Oxytocin is called the love hormone and it is also the hormone that causes orgasms. Some women can sometimes have orgasm type feelings when they breastfeeding. Some women feel like having sex more. They may feel more comfortable with their body from breastfeeding.

    It's common for mothers to be exhausted and not feel like sex. This isn't because of breastfeeding. Since you say it started when you became pregnant it could be this exhausted factor. It could be a psychological factor for you. You may have some kind of issue with being a mother and a lover. If this is the case you and/or you and your husband may benefit from counseling.


    Answer by Gailll at 11:57 AM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • I think being a mommy does this. I have lots of friends who never breastfed and feel the same way. Your sex drive goes down because you are in mommy-mode and have a different focus, different worries, etc. I didn't even try until 3 months, and then it was not really for me. It's really hard to say if this is from breastfeeding because we don't have a lot of information... like how your SO is acting and if maybe you are reacting to something he is doing or to the stress of motherhood. You might need help and are over-tired all the time. You might need him to be more cuddling, loving, and supportive throughout the day so you would be more interested in sex when the baby goes to sleep. There are a whole host of things that could be contributing but breastfeeding hormones might play a role. I am still breastfeeding and my daughter is almost two, I definitely have a sex drive.

    Answer by Bellarose0212 at 11:57 AM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • I hate having sex then because my boobs hurt SO MUCH....and they leak. Ugh. It's miserable.

    Answer by CAGirl4 at 11:57 AM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • There is a good book that may help called For Yourself: The Fullfillment of Female Sexuality.

    You might try looking for info on the LLL website and at it is a great breastfeeding web site with lots of links.


    Answer by Gailll at 12:01 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • It certainly didn't for me. What I have found though is even if you don't feel like having sex, do it! You'll find yourself enjoying it, and hopefully want it more.

    Answer by soccerchik8287 at 12:03 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • Oh, I didn't think so. When I was prego/breastfeeding, I wanted to have sex all the time! I wish I still did!

    Answer by MommyH2 at 12:04 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • Being a mom and the only one working killed mine for almost a year. Not the breastfeeding hormones- it just took me some time to feel like myself again. Since # 2 is on the way, and I am still breastfeeding, I would say that it wasn't the hormones lol.

    Answer by preacherskid at 12:07 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • I think that has more to do with being a new mommy, and having a new focus in life. When I was BFing my DD, I felt wonderful about my body. I felt strong and empowered because I was the one nourishing my child, and my DH though it was the most amazing see his wife feed his baby. This was however, my third, so I was used to the mommy life, and that new focus.

    Like Gail said, BFing releases Oxytocin, which is actually supposed to have quite the opposite reaction that you're getting. Do you feel at odds with your post-baby body? Maybe some underlying self esteem issues? I don't mean to prod, but i'm pregnant and can't stand the thought of sex right now, and I know that most of it has to do with the fact that I feel fat and totally NOT sexy. No matter what DH says, my self esteem drowns him out. Just something to think about. I wish you luck, and when all else fails, communicate your feelings with your DH.

    Answer by milfalicious08 at 12:07 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

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