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am I nearing divorce ?

So my dh and I have been married for 2 yrs.since I was 7m preg,all we do is my dd is 9months and he told me today that for 6m he's been trying to avoid me bc I am annoying to him.he tells me I don't ever do anything(im a sahm currently looking for work.i cook him breakfast,have dinner waiting for him when he gets home.I clean and wash every day, and take care of my daughter.)he calls me lazy when I ask him to take care of our dd,bc I would like to sleep in an extra hour in the morning on Sun.he lately has been complaining about my appearance(my weight gain since my baby and he knows I have a problem w/ my weight,I was anorexic b/c we got together and I'm starting to do it again.he tells me to eat but then calls me f at. )I really love him but I don't know what to do.what can I do to make him see that Im not lazy.and talking doesn't work b/c he just argues, and I tired not cleaning,but didn't work either.PLEASE help!

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:01 PM on Jul. 1, 2010 in Just for Fun

Answers (5)
  • Sweetie, the problem isn't with you. You are going above and beyond the call of duty. HE is the one with the problem. The best thing you could do is see if he'd be willing to go to marriage counseling.

    Answer by jreneei at 2:05 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • if you are asking and using word divorce, sounds like you are thinking possible
    no one can answer if divorce is right for you, but you
    but i can say that therapy would be a great start
    if he will not go (and i am guessing that he will not-selfish man)
    then go on your own=for you

    Answer by fiatpax at 2:06 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • I encourage you both to get counseling ... find out what the root problems are before heading the divorce route. Find out what your love language is.. there's 5 of them ... Words of affirmation, Giving gifts, Service, quality time and physical touch ( not neccessarly sex) I scored high on words of affirmation, Physical touch and gifts. My soon to be ex ( he filed) has never known how to give affirmation which when given tells me I am loved. I tried hard to be a quality time person for him but it was hard when all it was was complaining about work.. it gets old ya know and he would never ever ask how my day was! We did the counseling thing.. that was a flop for US but doesnt have to be for you. We stuck it out for 10 extra yrs... fight for your marriage! Dont give up and get help!

    Answer by Shaneagle777 at 2:09 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • Seems like he'll find fault with anything if you're doing all that already. If that's the case, he is already emotionally removing himself from the relationship. That would make me question if there's someone else in his head.

    Answer by rio_burb at 2:11 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • sit him down, tell him what you do all day and that he is being disrespectful. if he doesnt want to listen, dont make him breakfast or clean the house. leave the diapers everywhere, the toys all over the place, bottles or baby dishes piled on the sink, and delay dinner, when he asks whats for dinner, just kind of nod and say, ' being lazy today, need a day off, besides, does it look like i need to eat" you dont have to mean any of it, but sometimes you have to play their game and show them that this is what the house looks like when you dont be mommy and house wife.

    Answer by elizabugsmommy at 2:21 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

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