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2 Bumps

How do I deal with my Jealosy?

I have known my Hubby for 7 years we've been married for 5 years and through our relationship we have had alot of ups and downs. He is Latin and has a temper and is very old fashioned. It has taken me a while to understand that I will not change him and i'm accepting this all and making the best out of it. One thing that is so hard to get over though is my jealousy issues. My husband is not the type to go out much and he's usually home. He is self employed though so he comes and goes whenever he gets a job. He takes all his phone calls outside, which is weird to me, and sometimes he says he has to go do a few things and if i ask what he has to do or what time he'll be home he gets all mad at me thinking i want to control him, which makes me doubt him even more. I also am getting much worse to the point that i can't even stand him looking at another woman even if it is on TV! I don't say anything but...what is wrong with me?!!!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:19 PM on Jul. 1, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • It sounds like you lack a real trust in him, and it probably is related to something or things that have happened to you in the past. Once we have been betrayed, we sort of secretly expect that it will happen again. If that is the problem, it would best be approached by admitting it to yourself and then admitting it to him. Tell him that you want to fully trust him, that you are having difficulty doing so, and that you need his help. Then tell him how he can help you. If you word this in the right way, he will not be offended by your asking, unless he is a real jerk. I have learned it is not what I ask but it is all about the way in which I ask. My husband usually responds positively when I tell him what I need from him compared to negatively when I tell him what I want from him or making demands of him. It may take you a time or two to get it right. Start by saying it's ok for him to take calls in the house.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 2:57 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • Maybe you should play his gane. Go out somewhere & when he asks where you are going say the same crap he says to you. Ask him why he is trying to cotrol you. Maybe he'll get the picture.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 2:31 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • I'm the same way, but I think you have good reason to question some of his behaviors. I would check his phone when he's in the shower or something and if there's nothing there that will ease your mind.

    youngmom33

    Answer by youngmom33 at 2:22 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • I know my guy wouldn't ever cheat, but my last boyfriend did..for eight years!! So Im just a little uneasy about things. I've spied on him outside when he thought I was sleeping and checked his phone.. nothing..ever! But sometimes I still get a bad feeling about things..
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 2:23 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • I think your husband provokes your jealousy. It's the "not knowing" that makes you wonder what is going on. If you felt totally secure in your relationship, you would feel less jealous (some jealousy is normal, like if a chick hits on our man well..duh). He is not giving you the reliability that you need to feel secure. So, you go wndering "WFT is he doing, where is he going & why won't he tell me" If he can learn to be a littel more respectful & tell you where he is going & what he is doing, it could help. But, obviously you don't feel as if his eyes are only for you. This would make almost any women jealous.

    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 2:30 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • Maybe you need to do some things for yourself,, watch a good movie, hot baths,, IDK a little pampering,,,,,This can get out of contol quick,, try to be realistic about it HE married you not someone else,, and as for the women on TV--only worry when they call and ask HIM for a date,, LOL!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 2:32 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • Okay... first you have to figure what is strange and not strange behavior. Him up and leaving the house without saying "I am going to the store" or "Work called me in" is WEIRD in my opionion. If there is nothing to hide, then don't hide anything. Especially if it is upseting you or making you feel insecure. Unless he is sneaking out to buy you a birthday present, then he should tell you where he is going.

    I actually talk on my phone outside too and it bugs my husband. I am just talking to friends or family, but he thinks it is odd that I leave the room we are in. I actually find it really annoying that he DOES NOT leave the room when he gets a call. No he sits right their on the sofa blabering on to his friend about baseball while I struggle to hear the show I was watching. I like to be outside and while I am on the phone a check my garden, pet the dogs and enjoy the fresh air.
    Niki_sd

    Answer by Niki_sd at 2:51 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • When you find out how to deal with it..let me know!! lol. I hope it gets better for ya.
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 2:20 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • I always know where my husband is and he always knows where I am. If he didn't want to tell me where he was it would bother me too. Tell him how ou feel. If he cares for you it seems he should just tell you to give you peace of mind.
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 3:09 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • Me and my boyfriend both have terrible jealousy issues, i mean it it at the point already where we BOTH get jeloues when each other even look at people on TV and if I even get caught looking at a guy in public i get yelled at...so i dunno what to tell you because im in the same boat! GL
    Brianna-Ravae

    Answer by Brianna-Ravae at 3:28 PM on Jul. 1, 2010