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3 Bumps

Should I feel selfish?

For wanting more kids even though breastfeeding exclusively may never be possible for me? I know formula does fine if you can't...but now that I know I may not be able to...I can't feeling kind of bad that I want more kids knowing he or she will end up needing formula. I KNOW intellectually that any BM is better than none...and I'm not insulting formula or those who choose to use it. It just sucks that I may not even have a choice.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:27 PM on Jul. 1, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (9)
  • You are not selfish. I have never been able to breastfeed due to my own medical issues. I require medication that is passed through breastmilk, and is not considered safe for my babies. I am currently pregnant with my third child.

    Answer by xxlilmomma09 at 3:28 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • It's not going to hurt the baby to use formula. I would think the only way you would be selfish would be if you couldn't love or treat it the same. There's nothing wrong with wanting another baby even if u can't BF. Good Luck!!

    Answer by Nattiesmom10 at 3:30 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • Almost all of my family used formula... I will try to use BM when I conceive, but if I can't I don't think I would just say, "Hmm, I am not going to get preggers again because I can't give my baby BM!" Silly goose, don't feel bad:)


    Answer by smokisses at 3:35 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • I couldn't agree more with what Nattiesmom10 said! Your still giving that baby love and affection and I believe that thats what matters the most!

    Answer by TsMommy428 at 3:39 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • Well, I do not know your situation, but with my first I didnt produce. I tried for 3 weeks and after my daughter kept losing weight I tried pumping for more stimulation and I could get 1/8 of an ounce in 45 mins between the 2. I saw specialists and they all said I just was not producing and not anything I did wrong. But with my second I was ALWAYS overstocked on it! Maybe the next time around it will work?

    Answer by ABusyBee at 3:41 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • No you shouldn't feel selfish. Despite what some of the breastfeeding crazies on Cafemom say, formula is not poison. There is much more that goes into mothering than how you feed your baby. Just because you breastfeed doesn't automatically make you a good mother. Based on some of the answers I see here on Cafemom, I think that breastfeeding is the ONLY wise choice some of these women have made and that's why they have to wave the breastfeeding flag around so much to make up for the rest of their crappy choices. Anyway, if you want another baby then have one. Love, caring and attention mean more than breastfeeding.

    Answer by Bethsunshine at 3:48 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • I don't think you should feel selfish AT ALL. Especially if you still partially breastfeed. Can I ask why you aren't able to EBF? I only ask, because I have some great resources for certain issues. A great book is "Defining Your Own Success" and it's specifically for women who've had breast reduction surgery and have a difficult time EBFing, and part of it emphasizes that you shouldn't feel guilty if you are unable to provide 100% breastmilk. It also addresses some other conditions that have the same affect on mom's supply (PCOS, hypoplastic breasts, etc).

    Anyways, what's a NOT selfish reason to have a child? Really, most of us have children for ourselves. =)

    Answer by lifetimelove at 7:37 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • its not selfish to want kids if you can be a good mother and provide for them and love them. my son grew up on formula and he is a healthy happy big boy. i want lots more kids because i know i have a big heart and can't wait to love them all. so no, not selfish!!

    Answer by Butterflysky_24 at 9:33 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • Gosh, no. As long as your child is fed and happy...

    Answer by lizmarie1975 at 9:36 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

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