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MiL Trouble: Was She Wrong?

Back story: MiL usually comes to visit 3 times a week. She's coming to visit the kids, mostly her grandson (5 yrs. old), my husband's child. (15 yr. old girl from previous relationship yrs. ago). Our son is also Autistic, and to anyone who is familiar with it, you know routines are important, and ill effects if broken. Anyway, she's been on "bed rest" the past week, and has missed her 3rd visit today. I put it in quotations, because she's not in bed, never was. Just sitting in a chair, or love seat. Ok so, she calls today and says she'll miss it again, but I can bring him over to watch a movie and visit for a bit. I don't like him over there, because it's not kid friendly, and her crotchety old roommate always yells at him. Roomie was going to be out, so I said ok. We get there 5 minutes late, and I see one of her friends over. I go to her privately and say "you know he doesn't do well around people he doesn't know. CONTINUED.


Asked by Anonymous at 5:09 PM on Jul. 1, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • I feel bad for you. You are in a special situation and any grandparent should respect the needs of your little guy. He can't help it he is autistic. Sometimes you need to weed the people out of your life that make it dramatic and cause turmoil. This might be the case. But have your husband deal with her or it will come back one day and bite you in the butt. Talk it out with him and determine the course of action you can agree on. She needs to figure out what her priorities are. Hope you fine peace in this situation. It is obvious you care deeply for your son and are working to give him a good life. Hugs to your family.

    Answer by Lifes-A-Dance at 5:23 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • ...waiting for the CONTINUED to be posted....

    Answer by MizusT at 5:16 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • She should told her friend I am usually ok with unexpected visits however my grandson is coming over and he doesn't do well with change so I hope you don't feel bad, but we will have to get together later. Thanks for understanding.

    Answer by jamesonjustines at 5:18 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • my daughter has autism
    have her read the book

    easy read, maybe she will understand a bit more

    my mom read it, not that she was not willing to listen to me try to explain daily life, my mom even then went and read another book, loved it, bought me a copy and sent it to me...i can not tell you how much that touched my heart!

    Answer by fiatpax at 5:13 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • She gets her stupid tone, "I'm sorry, I didn't know she was coming." I can't do anything about it. I have to wait 'til she leaves. You can bring him back later." That was the last straw. She's been brushing DS off for a while, and we secretly thought it was because she couldn't handle his Autism. I said, you know this is going to set him off. He can't handle change like this, out of the blue. He's been having a hard time already with you not visiting lately, and now you tell him to come back later? I was really pissed. I was yelling. I admit I lost it. Especially when she replied: "Well, it's not my fault." <--In a sarcastic tone, that said to me: "It's not my fault he is the way he is." I told her she could just come visit him when she wants him, and left. She says she didn't do anything wrong, but I think inviting someone over, then tell them to leave because someone else came is wrong. My DS is screaming his heart out. UGH!

    Answer by NightPhoenix at 5:15 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • I don't know why the original post was anon... Oops!

    Answer by NightPhoenix at 5:16 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • Thanks for letting me vent, and replying. I was so furious, I was shaking. She is still swearing she did nothing wrong, and even said it was ME who upset my son. I admit I yelled, and I'm sure it bothered him, but all he was screaming about is how grandma needs to go to jail and learn a lesson. Doesn't sound like I upset him at all. I have talked about with my husband before. He sees what she's been doing, and has told her to get her priorities in order. She's always been like that he says; everyone else before family. When I told him how she replied about it not being her fault, he said right then that she can't see him anymore. At the moment I felt the same way, but my DS adores her, and he will want to see her again when he calms down. I just can't break his heart like she does. I feel like we are just letting her run the show, and I don't want that. I don't know what to do.

    Answer by NightPhoenix at 5:36 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • Ah, your poor ds :( I guess I think she was wrong, but that I wouldn't have gotten that upset if I were you. But I do feel sorry for your ds the most!

    Answer by Tes...Jacksmami at 5:38 PM on Jul. 1, 2010