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taking votes if hubby remembers that our daughter had final appt with dr who decides autism findings

it is on the calendar
I told him this morning

i am betting, if I do not mention, he will not ask
I think I will wait until his mother calls and asks me how appt went
will he feel like a selfish, selfabsorbed jerk then??

 
fiatpax

Asked by fiatpax at 5:25 PM on Jul. 1, 2010 in Relationships

Level 46 (221,572 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Fiatpax you crack me up. I'm betting he won't remember.
    Tes...Jacksmami

    Answer by Tes...Jacksmami at 5:41 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • I don't know if he will feel that way, but I do know most mean don't remember appointments even if you write the on a calender. Or if you post it on the fridge.
    itsallabtthem84

    Answer by itsallabtthem84 at 5:26 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • Communication...if you didn't express to him how important this is, he may think it isn't...I know this was a very important appointment, but his reasonings may surprise you as to why he didn't ask...he may not want to hear what the final results were...but communication in a marriage or any relationship is key...it changes things!
    treasured_hope

    Answer by treasured_hope at 5:28 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • Will he feel like a jerk? Probably not, men don't remember appointments unless it's an interview and they're even less likely to express the guilt to you. : P
    aluvk4evr

    Answer by aluvk4evr at 5:29 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • Communication...if you didn't express to him how important this is, he may think it isn't...I know this was a very important appointment, but his reasonings may surprise you as to why he didn't ask...he may not want to hear what the final results were...but communication in a marriage or any relationship is key...it changes things!
    -----------------
    communication is important and he is not good at that
    but i think he can know that our child getting doctor to decide if she has autism would be important, he knows i spend my time researching everything i can on it, i have three therapists come to our home once a week, each one etc etc etc


    i think when he comes home he wants to talk about his day and it never occurs to him to ask about mine (maybe not never but close)
    fiatpax

    Comment by fiatpax (original poster) at 5:32 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • How men see things isn't always the same as how we see things. I think if it is important to you that he be included and know what is going on that instead of waiting to see if brings it up you should bring it up and talk with him. Maybe if you do that you will find out that he didn't forget he just didn't want to bring it up because he was worried about the results and worried about how it will effect your lives.

    My husband doesn't even ask how my day was until I ask him how his was. At the end of the day the last thing he wants to do is come home and talk about the stressful day at work he had and maybe he assumes that you probably don't really want to go over everything about your day either. Men just see things and deal with things differently.
    krkljmc4e

    Answer by krkljmc4e at 5:38 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • Men and women don't work the same way. You can't expect him to have the same psychological desire to share and talk that you have.

    Now, you could be married to a horrible douche bag who you should divorce before he ruins your life. If so, I'm sorry. But most men just don't communicate the way women do.

    Most men are busy providing for the family. If he is the bread winner, he honestly is working his hardest to be a good dad by making sure you have money for that appointment. Even if he doesn't have a clue when it is or what the doctor's name is. But I'm certain he knows how much it costs (how much your insurance costs, the car you'll drive her in, etc).

    Men parent differently. They show love differently. They communicate differently.
    ecodani

    Answer by ecodani at 5:39 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • i am well aware the men are stupid and are from mars
    but
    this is kind of important

    fiatpax

    Comment by fiatpax (original poster) at 5:48 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • Most men are busy providing for the family. If he is the bread winner, he honestly is working his hardest to be a good dad by making sure you have money for that appointment. Even if he doesn't have a clue when it is or what the doctor's name is. But I'm certain he knows how much it costs (how much your insurance costs, the car you'll drive her in, etc)..................
    ------i do the bills, so he no he does not know, and the car i drive is my car, i am not a helpless female who needs taking care of, i am a partner with a man who thinks only of his day and forgets that I have a day too, true i am a sahm, because our daughter needs special care, i have more education than he does but i put on hold to care for our special child,

    this does not excuse a parent

    i think all the communication is key bs...is letting a father off the hook for not having enough brains to ask his wife how her day was
    fiatpax

    Comment by fiatpax (original poster) at 5:53 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

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