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What would you do?

My son is going to be four in October. 95% of the time he is a really really great kid. Stress free and awesome. However there are days like this.
We went to my moms today for a visit. We stayed almost all day. When it was time to leave my son asked if he could stay the night with grandma. She said okay, I said okay. Then he said that he didn't want to stay, he wanted to go home. I said okay, get your shoes. He screamed No that he wanted to stay. I said okay then stay, and he said no I want to go home. We went back and forth about this for an hour and a half. He would cry if I told him to go home, but would cry if I told him he could stay. I am so confused about this. He does the same thing when trying to decide what to drink or what movie to watch. No one wins with this, he's unhappy either way. I am
( I have yet to talk to his doctor about it, but I plan to)

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:15 PM on Jul. 1, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (12)
  • He sounds kind of normal to me. they have a hard time at that age decided what they want. They want to stay at grandma's but they want to be home in their own bed and with mom and dad. He's learning to make decisions for himself and it's ok for him to be confused. Just try to help him stay calm and figure out what he wants.

    Answer by rhianna1708 at 10:18 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • maybe he was just too tired from a full day?
    does being tired or hungry seem to go hand in hand with the indecisiveness?
    i personally, would never let this go on so long! now you are both exhausted!
    i would let it go back and forth a few times, and then you make the choice. that is it!

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 10:18 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • did he have a nap? Seriously it sounds like he was just overtired, you said ti was at the end of the day so maybe it was just a long day.

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 10:18 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • How often does he stay at your mom's? I ask because my kids stay at my mom's a lot, but sometimes feel torn like they want to stay home but they want to go and they worry about missing me and hurting someone's can be a dramatic choice LOL

    Answer by jamesonjustines at 10:19 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • That is how my 4 year old acts when he hasn't had a nap. He then gets so worked up that you can't even reason with him. It usually takes some quiet and cuddling time for him to get back to his normal, sweet self.

    Answer by lil_angel00 at 10:21 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • my dd is like that. if i think there will be confentation about me asking her what she wants i just tell her what we are going to do. like instead of what do you want to drink, i'll say do you want some juice. she has learned pretty quickly that what momma says goes!

    Answer by jennifer588 at 10:22 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • Definitely sounds like he needed a nap.

    Answer by kc932 at 10:22 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • I have never really dealt with that. I would never let my child monopolize an hour and a half of my day trying to make a decision. I give my kids a choice. If they do not choose, then I choose for them and I usually choose the "least fun" choice. They rarely do not choose because they know what will happen.

    Answer by momto1girl3boys at 10:26 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • If he were as tired as it sounds like he is, I would limit his options so that he doesn't get so upset. Poor guy! Or set it up so that if he decides that he wants to stay tell him if he changes his mind that you will come pick him back up, but if he calls that you will pick him up and he WILL come home.

    Answer by MamaRoberts at 10:26 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • Give him a choice between two things that are ok with you, and give him a time limit. For instance, you could say "ok, you need to decide whether to come home with me or stay with grandma. you have five minutes to decide, and that's your final answer." With my kids, if they absolutely can't decide, we flip a coin. We all have to make decisions, and we all have to live with the results of those decisions. Better to learn that early.

    Answer by DrJChappell at 10:55 PM on Jul. 1, 2010

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