Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

if an abusive man lives with a female friend will he abuse her?

his wife kicked him out so he had no where to go but live with a friend he isn't attracted to. will he abuse this woman as well or still focus on attacking the wife?


Asked by mrsary at 5:19 AM on Jul. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Level 19 (7,225 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • Yes because abusers need to control and need to be dominant if he is out before the honeymoon period is up nothing will come from him to her. The honeymoon period starts out when his surroundings are new but mind you he is watching her like a hawk keeping an eye on things he can do or use to bring her down. He is watching her for patterns. Warn whoever this is to be careful or even ask this person to leave. GL Momma


    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 9:19 AM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • it all depends i think. the guys mind is confusing lol.
    but really, i think it dpends on what is behind this mans anger that is causing him to abuse his wife.
    he needs to go to DV classes and anger management.

    Answer by MomNbabyGirl009 at 5:23 AM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • If he knows he has no control over her, then he might not. M uncle waws extremel;y abusive to his wife, but for some reason was able to have some poatonic female friends. We all think he only hit his wife because he felt like he owned her, like she was his to abuse. And i don't think he felt that way with other women. I also don't think hes friends had any idea how crazy he was behind closed doors. BUT, every situation is different.

    Pink Dragon might be right though. They start their work earkly & try to reel them in. Lots of abusers are very charming in the beginning.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:29 AM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • An abusive man may abuse any woman, child or animal.


    Answer by Gailll at 5:33 AM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • Any man who hits a woman has more than a few screws loose. It's a hard question to answer and I think would need to be evaluated on a case by case basis depending on the man. Control is a big issue for men who abuse their wives and the reason it usually starts or worsens after marriage is that the man figures he's got his wife trapped now and isolates her from family and friends. It's a process so I would say I doubt he would do anything to the friend but she'd be an idiot to let him stay with her either way.

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 6:25 AM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • It's a possibility, but you can't say or assume automatically that he would abuse this women just because he has abused someone else

    Answer by soccerchik8287 at 8:06 AM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • I personally wouldn't take the chance. I'd rather live alone than with a man like that.

    Answer by bjane01 at 9:23 AM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • just woke up, can't spell yet. hope you understand my

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:29 AM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • Abuse is about control. I wouldn't let the abuser stay with me for a long time. Right now his focus is on her but his anger is still there. Anger can be displaced and he could take it out on anyone really. It reminds me of the guy who is angry at his wife and goes to the bar, gets drunk and picks a fight. That anger/energy has to be burned up somewhere. One important note, he'll pick on someone he considers a child so watch your kids.

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:54 AM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • Yes, if he is abusive there is a chance he could turn on anyone he feels is weaker, anyone who 'threatens" their sense of being in control or anyone who angers them--- and any little thing could set off that rage/anger. It is like walking on eggshells hoping you don't say/do something that will trigger that rage and make them lash out. It is not a healthy way to live- never knowing if/when they will snap. I would seriously re-think having an abuser as a housemate, let him find someplace else to stay.

    Answer by MizLee at 10:30 AM on Jul. 2, 2010