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2 Bumps

I posted this in relationships, but wanted to get some more opinions on it...

Why is it so difficult for a man to simply tell a woman that they aren't into them? I was seeing this guy and it was going good for about two weeks, then out of the blue, literally nothing changed, he just quit calling, texting, or coming over. I've known him for about 7 months and we were friends before anything romantic happend between us, but I just can't understand it, so I flat out asked him what was going on and he jumped around it saying he was busy and blah blah blah. Now, I'm not stupid, I know where it's going, he's lost interest but it just BURNS me up that he didnt' have the guts to just say so! He knows me and knows how I was hurt in the past by this exact same situation where I was left in the dark, and he knows I wouldn't have freaked out or gotten mad, I would have totally understood, and I would have had the respect for him to tell him if I wasn't's just SO frustrating!


Asked by Anonymous at 8:31 AM on Jul. 2, 2010 in Just for Fun

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Excuses excuses excuses... It hurts and it should make you angry that he didn't have enough respect for you to just man up and say, hey this isn't working out the way I'd hoped, it would be better we stay friends. He's an adult! We make our kids do the right thing, say they are sorry when they hurt someone unintentionally. Just because he is a man we don't have to accept the fact he is a coward and can't do the right thing. It doesn't matter if he didn't want to hurt your feelings of if he doesn't like confrontation, or if he's a little scared boy, or if he has trouble expressing his feelings. Don't let him off the hook. You deserve someone in your life who is going to respect you and treat you like you like you are the precious person you are. I have two daughters. I don't want them to be treated like this or make excuses for people like him. Mothers, raise your sons to treat women the way they deserve to be treated!

    Answer by Lifes-A-Dance at 9:09 AM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • I think most people do this trying to avoid hurting someone's feelings, or they don't want the friendship to end, but they don't want to continue on the path of a relationship.

    Answer by mommy11260 at 8:35 AM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • because underneath their tough, hairy, bigboy exterior lurks a scared little boy who would rather run away than face up to reality..especially where women are concerned.
    sorry, but some men do this. committment phobes, or just plain old ignorant of how to treat the opposite sex. for the most part, they don't know how to communicate..they show their feelings by doing, not by saying. its one of the things that separate us and them. we say, they do.
    if you still want his friendship, let it cool for a while, them just tell him you're ok with things, its a done deal, and you'd really like to just go back to being friends, because you liked hanging with him. he'll either go with it, or not. either way, you'll have your answer,and hopefully, you'll be able to move on without thinking about this one when the next guy comes along. good luck!

    Answer by dullscissors at 8:36 AM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • It's not difficult. The men that do this still have a lot of growing up to do. Count your blessings that you don't have to deal with him any more. :)

    Answer by vnw1405 at 8:33 AM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • Maybe because you were previously friends, he just didn't want to hurt your feelings?

    Answer by Jademom07 at 8:33 AM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • I think men have trouble expressing feeling outside of aroused or angry....That's about as far as they go with it. What he did wasn't right. If he didn't want to continue the relationship, he should have been decent enough to say so. I agree with you....not nice.

    Answer by CaseyErin at 8:35 AM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • People don't like confrontation. I feel the same way about babysitters, why can't babysitters just tell you they aren't that interested instead of just not showing up.  Okay I'm sitting waiting for my sitter who is 30 min late and not answering her phone.  I'm guessing men are a lot like that too, I don't know I've been married to long.


    Answer by RyansMom001 at 8:37 AM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • He just doesn't want to hurt your feelings or he wants to lead you on.

    Answer by reesemom at 8:40 AM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • U was dealing with a real boy.

    Answer by mamaofficer at 10:22 AM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • I have asked my DH this question. It is because they don't want the confrontation. They don't want tears, or psycho behavior, they don't want questions...they just want to be gone.

    Answer by salexander at 10:27 AM on Jul. 2, 2010