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2 Bumps

If you are pregnant and have older kids do you expect them to pick up the slack with housework towards the end?

I'm 37 weeks now and my kids are 10, 8 1/2, 7 1/2 and 4. I already expect a lot from them with chores (I'm not their slave or their maid so they are supposed to clean up after themselves) but now that I'm almost due I expect them to do more and to not whine about it.

Life isn't always fair and just because they are kids doesn't mean they get to just live care-free lives, especially when someone in the house needs help. I can't bend over any more and can barely walk. For the most part the middle 2 have risen to the challenge and want to help me. My youngest and oldest just get more selfish and refuse to help (the 7yo is the most help doing all the sweeping now and cleaning without being asked, she's a blessing).

They aren't doing chores all day either. I usually have them clean up in the morning (takes an hour or so) and then they are free to play the rest of the day.

 
justanotherjen

Asked by justanotherjen at 11:10 AM on Jul. 2, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 26 (28,174 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • I see no problem with that. I did the same thing. It's a part of life that they should help any woman in your situation. It's teaching them compassion to those who can not easily do things for themselves. It is also teaching responsibility. I would give the middle two extra treats as rewards for being so helpful.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 11:15 AM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • My Mom had us clean up. She had six children, which is why I havve only one, to maintain as much sanity as possible.
    Mommy2mj

    Answer by Mommy2mj at 11:12 AM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • Hard to say, but they should shoulder some of the housework at least the older 2 for sure. Sounds like an allowance is in order, not much but just a reward, things will be even more tense once LO comes. Good luck momma!
    ShelbysHope

    Answer by ShelbysHope at 11:13 AM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • While I agree that children should have chores and should do them without complaining or causing a problem, I don't necessarily agree with making them do MORE just because I'm pregnant. Its not their fault that I would be pregnant. None of them asked for that to happen. While of course it would be nice for them to offer to help out, I wouldn't MAKE them to more than their fair share of chores they already had to do anyways. I've always been the type to think that its unfair to make older kids do more and take on more responsibility just because mom is having another baby. I just kind of think of the Duggars. Not bashing you or anything. JMO
    Ash9724

    Answer by Ash9724 at 11:15 AM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • My daughter was 11 by the time my twins were born. She and my husband both kicked it up a notch during my pregnancy, especially towards the end. She was old enough to understand that I needed extra help, and though I tried not to whine and complain I know it was obvious that I was miserable.  She's a sweet and generous girl, and she didn't mind helping.  I did make sure that she knew I appreciated her help, and she felt good about herself and her contribution to the family.

    TweenAndTwinMom

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 11:17 AM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • We had chores when we were younger, and our kids do as well. They all have age appropriate chores and they are to be done every day before they get to play. It will take them maybe half an hour to an hour depending on how they do them. If they take their time longer, if not they usually get them done quick. I am not too picky about how they are done, as long as they are done. I can oversee a few crumbs on the floor for sweeping, little things like that. I am in no way expecting perfection, but they do need to learn how to be responsible children and adults. I am 33 weeks pregnant and am going through the same thing as you. Every little bit helps. I don't see anything wrong w/ asking for help when needed. My kids are 10, 5, 3, and almost 2. Of course I am not expecting the two year old to wash the dishes and mop the floor, but he does help pick up his toys and he loves to help me put clothes in the dryer. Good luck!!!
    sprout.martin

    Answer by sprout.martin at 11:17 AM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • Just my opinion, but I am TTC and have a ten year old. He already does chores around the house, and when I do get pregnant, I do not expect his chores to change at all. If he does extra stuff for me, I will be thankful, and I will probably reward him in some way, but I would not expect him to do for me because I was pregnant. I honestly, do not feel like it would be right of me, to expect him to do more for me, because of a decision I made. But, that is just me. You honestly have to do what is right for you and your family.
    mommy11260

    Answer by mommy11260 at 11:18 AM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • Maybe pay them something for helping out above what they already do?
    Mommy_0f_many

    Answer by Mommy_0f_many at 11:30 AM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • Yes I'd have them help more but I would do my best not to let them associate the pregnancy or baby with their new responsibilities. It might make them resentful.
    Blueloveaura

    Answer by Blueloveaura at 11:16 AM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • HaHa... My oldest is 4, his idea of housework is pushing the button on the dishwasher after I load it. lol! So no, I get no help!
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 11:46 AM on Jul. 2, 2010

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