Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Rules for your 18yo high school student.

Please list actual house rules you have for your 18 year old who still lives at home, and still attends high school.
My son is active in many high school sports activities, work and other outside activities. My husband and I support him in everthing he does, attending the events, buying the equipment, paying for camps, etc.
He turned 18 in Dec, but we didn't have the "I'm 18 and I can do what I want", until this summer.
He feels he shouldn't be told what he can or can't do, just because he lives at home. I feel, as long as I'm paying for almost everything, I can have rules about what he does/doesn't do.
What are your 'rules for:
Curfew ( he usually works the 6/7am shift)
Money (saving)
Respectful/kind (there are younger siblings 17 & 14 still at home)

Answer Question

Asked by flowerchild4 at 11:51 AM on Jul. 2, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • At 18.. I didnt really have many rules, but my parents also werent giving me money or supporting my free time. My parents always called to see where I was, liked me to be home before 2am. Never asked where my $ was going, as long as I was working & getting good grades my parents let me be.

    Answer by pinkcicle709 at 11:56 AM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • I agree with your rules other than a curfew! I do not understand why he needs a curfew at 18. The rest are great and in fact I had those rules until I moved out of my mothers house. I was 22 and a mom when I left.

    Answer by delilahsmom1177 at 11:57 AM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • My DD will be 18 next month but she graduated high school in June. The rules are no different than before. She starts college the end of August and the rules will still be the same. I still expect her to be respectful or no going out. She will continue to help around the house or I will not pay her cell phone etc.. The curfew may change but not by much. She still lives at home and wants to for now so she knows she must follow the rules. I haven't had a problem yet LOL....

    Answer by midnightmoma at 11:59 AM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • My kids are no where near 18. But I had a "foster" who was a teen... I treated him the same as I would have any of my own - cause that's how I saw him.

    Anyways, I don't believe in Curfews at all. As long as I can always get ahold of them and they aren't missing school or work, I'm good.
    Their own laundry, keep their room picked up & keep their stuff out of the main house (which is my rule for anyone over 10)
    I don't force any savings, I don't see a point, I don't save how could I make them. But I do expect them to pay for their own car expenses, gas, entertainment (games/movies/whatever) & their own clothes/shoes unless they want me picking them out.
    And my rules as far as respect are the same for anyone in my house - not just kids - you respect everyone in my home or you get out! PERIOD! I don't care about language or anything, but I expect everyone to do their best to be friendly or separate themselves from issues.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 12:00 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • Well, technically at 18 they are an adult so you cant really give them rules but they owe you respect for letting them live in the house still. You could even charge rent if you wanted to.

    Answer by amber710 at 12:05 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • Honestly, I agree with all of your rules. I had the same rules when I lived with my parents for a little while when I was in my 20's! The only thing different was curfew, and it wasn't that I had a curfew, but I had to let my parents know what time to expect me home, or if I was not coming home that night that I would not be home.

    Answer by mommy11260 at 12:06 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • While he lives under your roof and you are paying the bills any rules you set he should be following. If he doesn't want rules he can leave.

    Answer by momtolucas2002 at 12:08 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • I left home at 18 & 6weeks. But my mother was extreme! Even at 18 she hired a sitter to "watch me." I wasn't allowed to talk on the phone or chat with friends unless she was their to hear. No friends to the house, no going out, she drove me to and from work, half my pay went to her for "savings", I bought all my own food & clothes, no car (I didn't have a license) and wasn't allowed to walk anywhere without her, No internet, games or movies unless she okayed them and was there to see them. Plus I had to attend Church 3 times a week and go out in the ministry work for an hour a week, and attend family bible studies... She searched my bedroom once a week for anything she didn't like and my sister (5 years younger) did ALL the house & yard work...

    Just as a note - I don't suggest treating your kids like this, but since the others were sharing how they grew up, I thought I would too.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 12:13 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • I don't think any of the rules should change and if he feels like they should he should discuss his reasons with you like that adult that he wishes to be and you can go from there. 18 is not some magic number and until one chooses to provide for himself like an adult I feel that nothing really changes.

    Answer by MrsTWalsh at 12:25 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • My younger 2 just graduated, they are 18 and 19. The 1 turned 19 last Aug. and the other turned 18 in Dec. so I have had an 18yo high schooler. The rules were, home by midnight unless something special is going on and then they had to be home by 1 on weekends/non-school nights & on school nights they always ate supper with us & they had to be home for the night by 9p, they called when they arrived and left wherever they were, no talking back or being disrespectful, they paid their own cell phone bill & car insurance and they had chores. At 18 and 19 and with 1 on his way to the Army in 2 1/2 weeks and the other off to college in a month and a half all of those rules still apply. The only difference they don't have to ask for permission but they do have to make sure that there aren't any other plans going on when they want to go out.

    Answer by tracylynnr67 at 4:36 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.