Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Is it unreasonable for my husband to be asking.......

for me and the mother of his son to be friends? I have hated her since day 1. I don't think she is a very good person nor a good mother to either of her kids but especially her son. Her house is always beyond trashed and my husband wonders why I refuse to let him take our 2 children there to see his son. I love his son like he is my own I just cant stand her. He stays at home with our 2 children and has asked if she can come over to hang out and let all the kids play. I have allowed it but reluctantly. He has never cheated on me and I honestly don't think he would (we've been together for almost 4 years) and we have been through a lot(He almost left me for her when I was 5 months prego with my daughter and we were almost going to get divorced almost a year ago). What do you think? Should I try and be friends with her? or do I have a right to be weary of this??

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:42 PM on Jul. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • if you feel that you are uncomfortable with her , you need to explain that to your husband.
    rainfey

    Answer by rainfey at 4:44 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • Cordial yes,friends no. You can't force a friendship between current SO,and the ex SO
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 4:47 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • Nope, it sure isn't. You don't have to be best buddies, but you do need to be friendly with her for the sake of your stepson. How you treat his mother will make a huge impact in his adult life and how he manages his own relationships. It's not up to you how well she keeps her house; that's a trivial matter that to me sounds like you think your better than her. If you truly trust your husband, you will trust his judgment and also trust him to hear you out before making decisions in this matter and all others. Your stepson needs to know the 2 women he has in his life will both be there for him, together, united on his behalf when the going gets tough.
    silversmom

    Answer by silversmom at 4:49 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • I understand that you hate this woman. My DH does not like the daddy of my oldest, but I have never asked them to be friends either. I think your DH just wants you guys to be friends because it might make things more comfortable for him. How nice would it be if his wife and his child's mother can be friends? And no, you don't HAVE to be friends with anyone you don't want to be friends with. Good luck.

    krissyvelazquez

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 4:51 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • I dont think you HAVE to be her friend. you could tolrate her for the childrens sake but other than that not! and I SAY. if she crosses the line kick her ass. seriously! and does your husband know that you dont like her? if so i think it's a little werid he WANTS you guys to be friends.
    ChelsE7631

    Answer by ChelsE7631 at 4:54 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • I don't like my husbands ex so just tell him how you feel on the issue.
    littlekitty2002

    Answer by littlekitty2002 at 4:55 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • totally unreasonable!
    Love2LaughaLot

    Answer by Love2LaughaLot at 4:57 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • I would not let her in my house...out of the question!
    Stacey833

    Answer by Stacey833 at 10:39 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • I'm not about to be friends with my x's current wife and he knows better than to ask
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:49 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • I think friends might be going to far but you could be friendly towards her. If you really care for your step son I think it would be respectful to him to be kind to his mother. She will always be in your life so why not suck it up and be cordial with her?
    newmomma14

    Answer by newmomma14 at 12:33 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN