Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Am I a bad person?

Me and my sister live together. More out of necessity than anything. She ignores her 6 year old while I give my 2 years lot of attention. So my nephew is always trying to get my attention and I really don't want to give it to him. We are not a close family and I don't have that big of a connection with him. I'm not super social but I love my son more than anything. And I just really hate that he clings to me bc she ignores him. Hopefully I'm moving soon.


Asked by Anonymous at 5:10 PM on Jul. 2, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I don't think your a bad person. I do think that both your sister mostly, but you as well are doing your nephew a huge disservice. He lives with you. You are an adult role model. How you feel about your sister doesn't really matter to that little boy. He is just looking for someone to love him and every where he turns, he is turned down. What is that doing to him? Can you imagine what he will grow up to be? I feel SO bad for that little boy.

    Answer by Mom_2_cuties at 5:14 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • I'm not trying to be mean here, but yes, I feel that ignoring a child that is clearly neglected and is reaching out to you does make you not only a bad person, but a horrible person. Move now before you make what is going to be a bad life for that child much worse, by rubbing the attention you give your kid in on him. I don't see how you could live with yourself by not only doing this but trying to get people to tell you its okay.

    Answer by BlainesMommy09 at 5:16 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • btw, You are not a bad person but your actions, or lack thereof, is just as harmful as your sister ignoring him. Ignoring/neglecting children causes personality disorders.

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:46 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • How you feel does not make you bad. What you do about it can though. Maybe try and bond with him. You might be really happy with the outcome!

    Answer by ABusyBee at 5:12 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • i could see if he wasnt family, but he is your nephew, i lost my little sister recently and it really made me value life and family so much more, dont be selfish with yourself you should want to share what you have to offer people, he obviously likes you, i dont think you are a bad person but come on thats a child you are talking about and not just any child, its your nephew, thats your childs cousin, and i could go on into that too.I hope you dont have to be "slapped" in the face so to speak to wake up and realize. i am sorry you feel that way though, it must be hard it makes me sad just thinking about it, i have a niece who is a huge brat but you better believe if she wants a hug or asks me to play i will be there for her!!!

    Answer by emleejanedom at 5:16 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • This is your nephew right? I couldn't deny my neices or nephews love and attention like that. He is reaching out to you and you are pushing him away? You are giving your child all sorts of attention while this little boy is craving love and affection. What if the tables were turned? How would you like it if that were YOUR little one needing someone to hold on to. You are not a bad person but I think things may be out perspective for you. You HAVE to remember it is NOT the little boys fault that you and your sister are not close. It's not his fault that your sister ignores him. But it is your fault that you push him away. It's not Ok Mama to treat another child bad like that. He must feel so bad about himself. Gosh I feel awful for your nephew. Poor little boy.

    Answer by pnwmom at 5:23 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • Children need love & attention from many different adults in order to feel secure. Ya know that saying "it takes a village to raise a child?" IMO you are incredibly selfish to not want to spend any time w/ your nephew, especially since you know his mom isn't giving him the attention he needs. You don't have to be a close family or even like your sister to spend time w/ your nephew. How sad is it that this poor 6 yr old is crying out for attention & ALL the adults in the house are ignoring him. Ever heard of serial killers? Withholding love & attention is a guaranteed way to screw this little boy up for life. Sounds like adoption needs to be seriously considered. If she's not going to love him & you're not going to love him then who is? Selfish selfish selfish!

    Answer by Nyx7 at 5:26 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • You should never deny a needy child if you can provide them with affection or whatever else they need, specially a relative. It doesn't make you a bad person but it doesn't make you a good one either.

    Answer by older at 5:38 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • I agree with Mom 2 cuties, that little boy is just begging for love. Maybe, since neither one of you are going to show him any love, you should suggest to your sister that she gets rid of him, give him to someone who will love him. Sounds like that is what you guys are teaching him to behave like when he gets older. Then, because he doesn't know love he won't be able to get it and he COULD become a criminal, all because he never knew love.

    Answer by momnstepmom at 5:20 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • Bless his heart. He is craving attention and the feeling of love and that's too much for you to offer him? Sad. Maybe your mom will give it to him or call his dad. Maybe his dad will want him.

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:45 PM on Jul. 2, 2010