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What would you do (PIOG)

Ok so I have this friend who I've been friends with for just about 18 years and well she has a DD who is4. Well the other day her and I were on the phone and I say how I'm having a little trouble potty training my 2 1/2 year old. She says of my DD still has accidents all the time at least 2 a day. Now I asked why she hasn't said anything to the Dr and she says oh I did he just said to bring her to the potty every 1/s hour but I don't feel like it. Her DD is in day care from 7 am until 7pm and she sits home all day. I kow I shouldn't judge but I really would rather not be friends with such a neglectful parent. I mean Mon-Fri she spend MAYBE 1 hour a day with her kid. I'll call on a Sat or Sun at noon and she's still in bed. I ask where her DD is and she says oh in the livingroom annoying me saying she's hungry. Well it's noon and this kid is used to breakfast at 8 am. Should I remain friends since nobody is perfect or not?

Answer Question
 
delilahsmom1177

Asked by delilahsmom1177 at 5:33 PM on Jul. 2, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 19 (7,071 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • have you told her how you've felt?
    CAGirl4

    Answer by CAGirl4 at 5:39 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • Sounds like she won't be winning any Mom of the Year Awards anytime soon.

    Has she always been this way with her daughter? She could be depressed, overwhelmed by motherhood, or immature and irresponsible.

    Ask yourself if your friendship is worth overlooking these things, or if you'd be happier putting some distance between you.

    Sorry it sucks, but some friendships weren't meant to last forever.
    anng.atlanta

    Answer by anng.atlanta at 5:40 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • No. And calling child protective services (as you should have done in the first place) will effectively end this unhealthy relationship.
    witchqueen

    Answer by witchqueen at 5:40 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • If she is still a friend to you, you should be one to her. Has she always been like this or has she had something happen in her life? When I'm depressed, I don't want to take care of my toddler either. If you are able to help her out subtly with her parenting issues, you should try. That's what friends are for.
    silversmom

    Answer by silversmom at 5:41 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • OK one she has pretty much been this way from the start. I have spoken to her and she already is being investgated by CPs(I did NOT call though) I wish all the best for my Maddy I just can not listen to it anymore and look at my DD and wonder what can go on in a little head who gets no love. I have done all I can. Now it is up to the state. But I simply do not really want to be friends with a person who can not even care about their own child.
    delilahsmom1177

    Comment by delilahsmom1177 (original poster) at 5:47 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • Hmm this is a toughie!  Normally I would say "mind your own business and parent your own children" if it were a matter of conflicting parental ideals.  BUT if you truly believe that she is being neglectful then you have to do what you feel is the right thing for you.  If it is weighing this heavily on your mind then maybe you should sever the relationship.

    beeky

    Answer by beeky at 7:01 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • Be a friend, say what needs to be said, and if that severs the friendship so be it. And if it's really that bad, call her mom, her family and then call CPS. Kids come first.

    isabellalecour

    Answer by isabellalecour at 8:31 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • Well, I have spoken to her,her mom passed away 2 years ago and she has no family that will actually help. Most of her family is quite racist and her DD is half black so they don't even really want her around. And CPS is already involved.
    delilahsmom1177

    Comment by delilahsmom1177 (original poster) at 9:33 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • You should tell her how you feel because such feelings are legitimate. She sounds like a bad parent. Nobody is perfect but at least some of us try. If she is not even feeding the kid then she should be reported or something. No child should have to feel unloved and go hungry or spend all day alone.
    amber710

    Answer by amber710 at 11:49 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • Your friend sounds "lost" to me. No family, possibly a few friends (and some of those could be questionable I suppose) ...
    If you have spoken with her and cps is in fact involved and she still doesn't seem to care, then tell her that you have no choice
    but to cut ties with her and end your friendship... IF this is what is actually in your heart to do.... other wise, try being a friend still to
    her, but limiting your contact with her...
    and send some prayers out to that little one...
    gmasboy

    Answer by gmasboy at 12:13 AM on Jul. 3, 2010

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