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4 Bumps

And we wonder why....

I find it very sad that when a woman asks a question about being unhappy (I am NOT including cases of abuse or mistreatment just generally unhappy) the majority of responses are "leave". And we wonder why the divorce rate is soooo high. If Dh and I have an argument or disagree we discuss it and come to a compromise. Just because I don't like my hubby's attitude or that he expects me to do things doesn't mean I just up and leave. AGAIN, I am not talking about physical or any other kind of ABUSE. Women wonder why they can't keep a man but everytime he says or does something she doesn't like she gets the advice to just leave. I think it's crazy! No one is perfect, no relationship is perfect! I think some women expect their husbands to never make a mistake, never speak out of turn, never have a bad day/week, and never expect something from them and the second they do it's "see ya... you suck!" cont...

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terpmama

Asked by terpmama at 6:29 PM on Jul. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Level 11 (577 Credits)
Answers (22)
  • Any couple who have been together for more than 10 years would tell you that relationships take work, communication and compromise! Lets support one another and not just give up at the first sign of disagreement!
    terpmama

    Comment by terpmama (original poster) at 6:30 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • i JUST posted a question like this a few days ago!! I agree so much!

    what happened to working together and being a team and sticking together through thick and thin richer or poorer happiness of sadness...

    its ridiculous ppl are so quick to pull the divorce or split up card.
    especially when you have a family.
    MomNbabyGirl009

    Answer by MomNbabyGirl009 at 6:30 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • OMGOsh you are SOOOO not kidding. It seems so many people like to take "the easy way out". Either that or they like to give the "easy advice". Oh yeah, just leave. How 'bout encouraging people to work through the differences and becoming stronger for doing so. Encouragement can do wonders for a person. And sometimes the person just wants to vent, they aren't always looking for someone to spout off rudeness like that. Anyway, I'll stop now! ;o)
    firenicecream

    Answer by firenicecream at 6:31 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • I totally agree......my hubby and I disagree ALL the time, but just because I'm not happy (at that moment) doesn't mean that I would leave him. I actually had a friend who used to tell me that we fight too much and that since neither one of us was happy we should just divorce.......I asked her "Who said I wasn't happy?" She replied "you did when you're talking about your latest fight" I then said "Did I tell you how we made up?......I winked at her and continued with.....sometimes you fight and become unhappy just so you can get happy in the end"
    colethky

    Answer by colethky at 6:35 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • I wouldn't say being together for for than 10 years means that you know and understand that relationships take work. I think that any person who has been in a long term committed relationship knows that they take work. My SO and I have been together for 7 1/2 years and there are times we are unhappy and have to work through it. I don't understand why people want to leave at the first sign of unhappiness. If 2 people love each other then they should make the attempt to work through whatever disagreement they may have.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 6:35 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • Honestly I have never really broken up with a guy in my past relationships just because he wasn't perfect...there comes a time when you need to realize it's just not working and it's time to move on. No one could have told me to "leave" my situation and expected me to listen I do what I want and I always look out for me. I am married now to an awesome man and I don't regret leaving any of those other guys, at the end of the day I was meant to be his wife and I am happier than I have ever been ever! I do see your point as far as my current relationship I would never just "leave" because we were having problems I said, " I DO" and I meant it with all of my heart I take my vows seriously and would never leave unless he was unfaithful or abused me and I don't see him doing either one...so...I am in it 4 life.
    geminisummerz

    Answer by geminisummerz at 6:36 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • I think some of these relationships the person does not want to compromise or even take care of their own kids I always suggest counseling but I am not perfect or trying to be some relationships are hard. I think that when you are in a relationship hardwork goes both ways and when you have done counseling and everything else you should have done I trly thinks its not my place to say no.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 6:41 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • I think you're right... IF you have tried and you've done couseling and worked and it still isn't getting better than fine... but my problem is when leaving is the FIRST thing you do instead of working it out or talking or anything.
    terpmama

    Comment by terpmama (original poster) at 6:44 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • I agree. My relationship w/my dh is not perfect and we have been through some potentially deal breaking things but we choose to stick it out. We have been married for 14 yrs. There are not just days but weeks that we don't get along very well. We always sleep in the same bed no matter how mad we get at eachother during the day. It is for better or worse and sometimes there is a lot more of the worse!
    momthruivf

    Answer by momthruivf at 6:47 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • I agree with you.... I think most people say leave cause it is easier to say then to get help or work on... When were ( women) get angry we tend to take most our emotion out on a man making him the bad guy and that we never do anything wrong. So that is why most women say leave.
    Claudiomom

    Answer by Claudiomom at 6:50 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

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