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it's 2 nights a week!!

I'm so frustrated with my S/O, I have my own apartment, he lives with his mom and helps her out with bills, and we're looking for our own place.

Well our routine is typically date night on Wednesdays and he spends the night, then we spend alot of Saturday together and he spends the night.

But 9 times out of 10 we end up arguing about him spending Sat night. Because he's got "stuff to do" around his house. Before you say it, he's not cheating, I call him on their house phone and he's there without fail. But he does stuff like mowing the lawn or tending the garden. Or his mom is working late and he has to be there to let the dogs out.

I keep telling him when we move in together he can't spend all his time there and his mom is going to have to fend for herself. And he keeps swearing the 2 are not related and that he'll be at home every night when we move in.

I call BS, I'm only asking for 2 nights a week. Whose wrong here?

Answer Question
 
Pudge_Pie20

Asked by Pudge_Pie20 at 9:14 PM on Jul. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Level 11 (623 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Maybe he is slightly commitment shy.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 9:15 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • I dont know abut "wrong' but it would definatley be a red flag for me.
    Who would rather spend the night/evening w/ his mom than his S/O???
    new_mom808

    Answer by new_mom808 at 9:16 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • He's lucky your only asking him for two nights....I would want to see him more than that for sure! Maybe until he can start spending more time with you, that you guys need to hold off on moving in together so he can prove to you it won't happen then???
    CAGirl4

    Answer by CAGirl4 at 9:17 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • If you aren't on the same page, then maybe the book isn't going to have a happy ending. I think I would trust him. He'll still likely want to stop at his mom's say once a week and help her with the mowing, but I suspect that he'll do as he says and stay with you most of the time.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:17 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • He's not mature enough to leave mommy's home. I'm confused as to why sleeping over will impact on stuff he needs to do the next day. Are you staying in bed til noon? Is he THAT young that his mom still expects him to be doing stuff for her?
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 9:18 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • Well the reason we usually only get those 2 nights is because he works super early first shift like 5 am early, and I only work mornings on Wednesdays, and I have every Saturday off. And every Sunday I have off my daughter and I go out of town to visit my dad. So it can be hard to coordinate our schedules.
    Pudge_Pie20

    Comment by Pudge_Pie20 (original poster) at 9:19 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • You are in for a nasty surprise I bet if you expect him to suddenly stop going to mommy's when you move in together. That was a constant fight between me and my first husband. I would expect him home after work and guess what...he went to see mommy! Eventually it got better but it sure was an issue for awhile. I would try to work this kink out before you move in together. Sounds like it'll be a hard habit for him to break.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 9:30 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • I'm sorry but how old is he? 2? Red flags are flying all around this guy!! Don't fall for it, unless you don't mind feeling like a 3rd wheel!!! I had a relationship exactly like yours, notice I said had!! My final straw was the day our daughter was to be born via scheduled c-section I told him to be at my house by 4 as we had to be at hospitial by 5 (ok so I fibbed to him a bit we didn't have to be there til 6) and hospitial was an hour away, he showed up at 5:30, I had just loaded my bags into my car to take myself! I knew then we couldn't hold it together! PLEASE I'm BEGGING you don't let it get to that point, show the guy the door before you experience any more heartbreak!!
    Alwaysacarnie

    Answer by Alwaysacarnie at 10:27 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

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