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Should a husband back you up

Do you think your husband should back you up even if he disagrees with you. My husband will never back me up, you know agree with you in public. It does not matter if he thinks I am right or wrong. I always feel like I am alone. My two teen boys at home will, as I always am on their side. If I feel they are wrong I will tell them later in private. I will support him no matter what, but he does not return the favor. Tonight we were at an event and the seating was limited. It started at 5:00 and we all knew it would be crowded so we arrived 30 min early. At 5:30 a woman was telling my son he had to move because she wanted his seat. I told him to stay put and not pay attention to her. She started yelling at me and my husband said for us to just move. I said no, we were there she should have been on time. He just sat there while this person said some very unkind words. Am I wrong?

 
Gemaof4

Asked by Gemaof4 at 10:07 PM on Jul. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Level 4 (28 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • No, you are not wrong. Husband and wife are supposed to be a support system to each other, and if he is always undermining you, that is unhealthy. I don't have advice on the best way to broach the subject with him, but it sounds like maybe you need to. Good luck! <3
    aliceryannesmom

    Answer by aliceryannesmom at 10:12 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • In that case, then yes, your dh should have backed you up. In fact, he should have said something like "I'm going to sit here while you (or one of your ds's) goes and gets the manager (or whoever was in charge of what it was you were going to).

    I don't think we should always back them up if we disagree with them though. We don't have to argue with them about it or anything, but we don't have to pretend to agree when we don't. A friend of mine's dh had a shirt that was pretty funny - it said "Warning - opinions expressed by the wearer doesn't necessarily reflect those of my wife." ;-)

    HOWEVER - I should add that even when you disagree with them, you shouldn't stand by and let someone verbally (or otherwise) abuse them. There's nothing wrong with saying - whether you agree with my ds/d/w/h's opinion or not, this I love them, this is how they feel, and they need to be respected.

    gl!
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 10:14 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • No. You were not wrong.
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 10:10 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • You're not wrong, he should back you up. And yes all husbands should back up their wives even if they think they're wrong.
    Tes...Jacksmami

    Answer by Tes...Jacksmami at 10:11 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • ON that, I believe your husband should have backed you. Why was she being so rude wanting the seat. She didnt get there on time, no reason for her to be mean. I am sorry that happened!
    vickwu

    Answer by vickwu at 10:11 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • If he felt like I was being attacked for my opinion then he would, but he wouldn't just agree with me to agree with me and I wouldn't expect him to! So in that situation you described yes he would.
    Blueliner

    Answer by Blueliner at 10:11 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • It depends on when my DH will back me up and the same for me as well.
    In your situation, yes, he would've backed me up. He doesn't tolerate others being rude to me or his family, especially saying nasty comments.
    It varies by each situation. Sometimes, he'll tell me in the privacy of our own bedroom that I was being absurd and should've just let it go. Most of the time, if he doesn't really have an opinion or say in the whole thing, he'll just stay silent until he can tell it's starting to get out of hand, and butt in.
    ManicMomma02

    Answer by ManicMomma02 at 10:12 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • In this situation, No. My hubby probably would have, in his words, Flew off the handle at the person saying unkind things. We back one another up when we agree. Otherwise I guess you could say we support one another. But if we do disagere about something, we just both tend to not say anything at all in a public situation (unless it's close friends). Because your spouse and yourself shouldn't embarass each other intentionally or make a bigger scene than necessary.
    2BlondeBabies

    Answer by 2BlondeBabies at 10:16 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • Yes he would. I would have been very upset with him if didn't in a situation like you described.
    geminisummerz

    Answer by geminisummerz at 10:17 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

  • Should a husband ALWAYS stick up for his wife? No.

    However if he agrees with her he should.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 10:21 PM on Jul. 2, 2010

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