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9 Bumps

how do I raise 3 babies on my own?

I don't know how much longer my marrige is going to last. He won't talk to me unless he is tearing me down. I was always taught to walk away but that just seems to make things worse but I refuse to do it in front of the kids. They might be little but they know. Sorry for unloading just need some advice or instructions maybe.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:01 AM on Jul. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (18)
  • If he is not willing to put 100% into the marriage (and you have asked him about it) then it is time to leave.

    And you can raise 3 kids by yourself the same way my mom raised 4 kids by herself. You do the best you can with what you have.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 2:04 AM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • If I can raise 6 then by the grace of God u can raise 3. Be strong and keep your head you can do it.
    mamaofficer

    Answer by mamaofficer at 2:07 AM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • Keep your chin up!
    Emberbaby

    Answer by Emberbaby at 2:08 AM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • You do it because that's the only choice you have. I raised my oldest for over a year by myself. My ex husband came back long enough for me to get pregnant again and left when I was 4 months pregnant. That was over two years ago and I haven't heard a word from him. I'm glad though. My babies don't have to hear me arguing and fighting with some loser. They don't have to hear me called names and degraded. My girls aren't going to grow up thinking it's okay for a man to treat them like crap because they saw their mom treated that way.
    You step up and take care of your kids. Be mommy and daddy if you have to be. Do what's best for your children.
    dmdblleb

    Answer by dmdblleb at 2:18 AM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • I have been raising two alone for 7 yrs. If he is hurting those kids more then he is being a good husband and father...then you need to get help, counseling,,,get safe
    beyondhopes

    Answer by beyondhopes at 2:18 AM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • stay positive about EVERYTHING! that's what keeps me sane & happy raising my 3 under 5 w out my soon to be ex h.
    mrsary

    Answer by mrsary at 3:31 AM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • Its time to go. If he isn't willing to work through it with you then there really isn't anything more thyou can do. You will make it, just take it one day at a time.
    LizzieAnnesMom

    Answer by LizzieAnnesMom at 4:23 AM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • I'd warn him before you go so he has a chance to take you seriously and straighten up. It won't be easy but it's do-able. I did it with three. Actually it was much easier on me bc there was not the chaos with him going on. I had to learn to budget but it was a new adventure I was ready for. Just plan well. Maybe he'll step up to the plate and fix things so make sure you let him know what you are planning. Men can be stupid so sometimes we have to let them know we are serious
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:02 AM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • Hugs! A marriage takes TWO people giving it their all to work, you cannot carry it all yourself. If he is not willing to do his part by sitting down with you, talking it out and doing his part to keep it going ,then it is time to end it. What I would do if it were me is I would make a game plan-- put some money away, get a job (if i did not already have one), look for a place to live, and I would consult a lawyer to find out what my rights are- then once I had things in place I would let him know that it is not working out, and if changes are not made I will leave. I would give him notice and a deadline, and if he still does not try to make it work I would put my plan in action and leave, then contact the lawyer and start divorce, child support and custody papers. You and the children do not need his drama and attitude. I wish you the best of luck and hope everything works out!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 12:05 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • I have been there. You need to get some help. Go to counseling-on your own if he won't go. Do you have family you can turn to for help? There are free services if you need it. Are you able to get a job if need be? Are you a SAHM? You might qualify for alimony and child support if you divorced.
    I would start with counseling first and let your husband know things are not good. On your own, get copies of all your financial records to see just where you stand with income/debt. You can also open a checking account in your name only if it looks like things really are not working out.
    You are right to walk away when things are bad so the children don't see--but children do know when things are not right-they feel the tension as well. Maybe you just need time apart for both of you to work on things and see where you both stand....
    A counselor can help with lawyers if it goes there...remember do what's best for you and your kids!
    connorsmom1970

    Answer by connorsmom1970 at 1:26 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

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