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2 Bumps

MIL!

My Dh wrote her a letter and got her to stop calling every day, however she has recently been giving out our home phone number! We are going to call her tomorrow to let her know we are pregnant and don't want to be too harsh, but she needs to know she has no right in giving out our home phone number. Should we say it asap so she stops or should we not even add more to the shock when hearing her son and DIL are pregnant

 
smokisses

Asked by smokisses at 6:03 AM on Jul. 3, 2010 in Pregnancy

Level 16 (2,470 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • Tell her about the pregnancy and then ask her to not give out your number to anyone. If someone wants your number, she should get their number and call and tell you. Congratulations on your pregnancy!
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 7:34 AM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • I would tell her the happy news (it is happy news right?) and talk about it and then towards the end of the call have DH tell her she should not be giving out your phone number.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 7:28 AM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • We had a lot of boundary issues with my MIL in the beginning of our marriage. The best you can do is be straightforward with her. If something bugs you, like the phone thing, it's important to let her know plus you have less right to get upset about it unless she's been informed it's an issue and still continues to do it. I think it's great that your husband is willing to set boundaries himself, and there's no better time than before baby gets here. Congrats on your pregnancy!
    Ashes0813

    Answer by Ashes0813 at 11:18 AM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • i think you are a bad DIL. Making your dh write his mother a letter telling her not to call!! come on!! I would never ever do that. So what if she calls. poor woman. The only thing you should ask her is to not give out your number to others..that is disrespectful..but you are way beyond disrepectful to her.
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 7:39 AM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • I am gonna agree with Shay. What is so horrible about her calling? Is she rude when she calls? Is she doing it to be mean or something? I guess I just don't understand that. If you don't like her so much then why do you feel the need to tell her you are pregnant? Then she can't call to check on you or when the little one is born to check on him/her because she isn't allowed to call. If she isn't allowed to call I can only imagine how you will feel if she stops by. Some people just don't realize how wonderful a MIL can be.
    carmadsmom

    Answer by carmadsmom at 8:54 AM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • I am sorry but maybe she is very attached to her son. So she called the day after your wedding. I still haven't seen anything that warrants her being rude or horrible. Many mothers call their children everyday to see how they are and make sure things are ok. There is nothing wrong with that. I think it is disrespectful to tell her she can't call that is my own opinion. You asked for opinions and when you didn't hear what you wanted you got defensive. I still haven't seen anything that she has done to be treated the way you have. So no one is allowed to stop by your house without calling first? Wow, I couldn't handle that. My MIL comes by whenever she wants to see her grandkids. I have no problem with that. They are her grandkids after all. I am just grateful she takes such an interest in them and is a part of their lives.
    carmadsmom

    Answer by carmadsmom at 6:58 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • I would tell her to stop the shit now.. or u will never see the kid!
    MyAngelNick06

    Answer by MyAngelNick06 at 6:35 AM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • Tell her not to give out your number, then tell her about the pregnancy. Who is she giving your number out to, how many people want to call you?

    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 7:06 AM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • and why should you even bother telling her about your pregnancy its obviously nothing for her to be excited about since you don't like for her to even call you
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 7:41 AM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • I do not feel you are being disrespectful. I understand that a parent, whether it be your mother or your mother in law, can be interferring and meddlesome. In my case, it's not my MIL, it's my mother that does this. You are correct that since it was your husbands mom, that he needed to inform her that she was calling too much. I also understand how much it hurts and the inner turmoil you go thru when you have to make this decision. My mother used to call everyday demanding to know what we were doing, what we had done and telling us what we weren't doing right Now she calls only twice a week. Which is much better.
    Who has she been giving your number? Is it random strangers or family?
    I would not make this one phone call. I would first call her and tell her that she needs to stop giving out your number. Then I would make another call in a day or two to tell her your wonderful news. Congrats!!
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 9:13 AM on Jul. 3, 2010

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