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2 Bumps

Is it weird that I don't count my miscarriage towards my total child count?

I see a lot of woman list all their miscarriages in their signatures and talk about them as if that baby was born. I don't see anything wrong with that.
I miscarried at 12 weeks in May 09. As soon as it was over I took down that child from my homepage and life went on.
I'm now 37 weeks pregnant and when I had an ultrasound on Monday the lady asked me how many kids I had. I said this was my 5th. Later she was surprised to find this was actually my 6th pregnancy because I didn't mention the miscarriage (she didn't ask how many pregnancies, she asked how many kids).
While sad that I lost that child I just don't count it towards the grand total. I rarely think about it. I have 5 kids (or will in 11 days), that's all.
Is that weird?

 
justanotherjen

Asked by justanotherjen at 11:11 AM on Jul. 3, 2010 in Just for Fun

Level 26 (28,174 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • It's not weird at all. It's just how you view what happened, how you yourself count. I tell people I have one son. I also miscarried twins and a single, but I rarely mention that...it happened over 20 years ago. Maybe I used to tell people, but it has faded.... Even if I still remember dates of miscarriage and previous due dates....
    kjrn79

    Answer by kjrn79 at 11:15 AM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • No, it's not weird, since you didn't get a child out of it. :( You have to do what makes you comfortable. When I've gone in, they always asked, "How many pregnancies? How many births? How many miscarriages? How many abortions?" just to make sure they cover everything.
    Pnukey

    Answer by Pnukey at 11:15 AM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • Nope, it's not.
    aluvk4evr

    Answer by aluvk4evr at 11:18 AM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • No I have had 2 miscarriages, but I only have one child. Dr's should be more specific when asking these questions.
    cherylw993

    Answer by cherylw993 at 11:19 AM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • what u r doing is the norm. miscarriage isn't a kid but i think a stillborn should count as a kid although most people don't.
    mrsary

    Answer by mrsary at 11:21 AM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • I don't talk about my miscarriages, most people who know me don't have any idea that I've ever miscarried. Everyone handles it differently, I choose to celebrate the children I was able to have and not talk about the pain along the way that it took to have them. Others want to share.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 11:26 AM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • I also miscarried at 12 weeks back in 1990. I don't count that as a living child.
    night.magic

    Answer by night.magic at 11:27 AM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • I don't think it's weird at all. In fact I think it's a little odd when women list miscarriages as children. Still born kids count, anyone that could have lived had they come out alive. If you miscarry a couple of weeks after you find out that you're pregnant then you clearly were not carrying a viable child to start with. It really bothers me when people start talking about their angel babies and you think they lost an infant but it turns out that they had a couple of early miscarriages. There are women who miscarry every day who just think their period was a little bit late.
    RhondaVeggie

    Answer by RhondaVeggie at 11:45 AM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • I am like you I don't count miscarriages. I just think of it as it took my DS a couple of trys to get here.
    FuzNet

    Answer by FuzNet at 11:22 AM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • They usually ask me (at OB appts) how many PREGNANCIES I've had (6) and how many live births (3). Since I've had so many pregnancies and a high risk of miscarriages, if I ever get prego again, I'll be considered high risk. I should've been high risk with DS2, since I had a m/c @6wk in 2002, DS1 was born in 2003, m/c @ 13week in 2004, tubal preg that ended in surgery(and obviosuly m/c) at 7wk in 2007... then DS2 was born in '08 and DS3 in '09 The last 2 pregnancies were healthy, full term, but with my history... yeah.
    MunchiesMom324

    Answer by MunchiesMom324 at 11:34 AM on Jul. 3, 2010

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