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How to deal with a highly emotional 9 yr old? What worked for you?

My 9 year old has always been a little more sensitive than my other two girls but as she ages, its getting worse. She cries for less fortunate, mistreatment of animals, doesn't take constructive cristisim well (she sees it as an all out attack on her) and she hates conflict both at home with her sisters and at school with her friends. Like most kids, she doesn't want to be different but she is developing a little early compared to her friends so she is upset about that as well. I am going to buy some books that talk about changes in your body, respect for your bodies and how to deal with sexual comments my boys on the playground. I just wanted to know if anyone else is dealing with a highly emotional pre-teen and if you have any special things that worked for you. Thanks for your help ladies! (please excuse the typos, my laptop keys are all wacked out).

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Asked by Lily23 at 11:50 AM on Jul. 3, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 6 (128 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • You gotta just tell her to chill out! I'm sorry,but my mom is like this,and so many people avoid her because her life is nothing but drama and "poor me".You don't want her to grow up and have people avoid her because of this. Jobs could be on the line over this,friendships,marriage,the list goes on.

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 12:16 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • my dd is the same way but something that has helped is her swimming. She swims competititvely. This has helped her self esteem since she has learned that shes good at it and when she gets overly upset she takes it out in the pool. maybe see if there is a physical activity that she enjoys that she can excel at and use as a coping mechanism. Another thing that has helped is journaling. it can be drawings or writings or anything that gets her feelings out in a way that is easier for her and everyone around her to handle. sometimes it helps to have an uninvolved third party (distant relative or pastor or something like that) for her to talk to that she trusts. I hope these help

    Answer by elananme at 6:26 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • I have been ignoring my 9 years olds attitude. She gets really mad when I do it, but by ignoring her attitude, she is not getting the reaction and response she is looking for. My daughter seems to enjoy getting a rise out of me so if I dont play along, she stops. Kids will only try and do something as long as it is giving them what they want. It is hard to do but actually does work. After she stops with her attitude I talk to her as long as she is being respectful. So hopefully it soon sinks in and the better attitude will be present more then her bad attitude.

    Answer by erikamcc at 7:23 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • If things have been getting progressively worse, you should seek counseling for her. Being sensitive is one thing, but when it is to the point that it is causing stress for you and the family, and really seems to be taking a toll, it is a good idea to get professional help.

    Answer by KTMOM at 1:54 PM on Jul. 4, 2010

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