Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

what would you do if the courts said you could only see your child every other weekend?

im in a custody battle and it looks like its leaning that way. i dont think i can stand to be a part time parent. part of me wonders if it would be better for me to terminate my rights if that happens...

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:51 AM on Jul. 3, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (10)
  • It still is wonderful to see your kid. Wouldnt you rather see them than not ever see them? You could also work something out that maybe you get to keep your child for 1-2 weeks during the summer.

    Answer by serioussifL at 11:58 AM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • You'll have to provide more details on why this may be the outcome of the case. Otherwise all we can offer is well wishes that it turns in your favor.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 12:00 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • do note that if you terminate your rights, you have NO hope of filing for full custody again or petitioning the court, so that is the LAST thing you should want to do.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 12:00 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • Honestly, it would probably be a relief for the first...month.  I'm so stressed out dealing with the kids that any break would be welcome.

    But after that it would be like torture.  I'm so used to being a mom I don't know how to be anything else.  I'd have to work out some deal where I could see them more often.

    Would never happen for me.  My husband knows he can not deal with the kids and would never try to get custody of them.  He barely does anything with them now so every other weekend would probably be an upgrade for him.


    Answer by justanotherjen at 12:01 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • Hopefully you can get a week night as well. Why did he get custody? Maybe we can help you with that. Do you have a lawyer?

    Answer by beyondhopes at 12:01 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • There are many men who only get to see their children every other week end, and they happily see them as the court order states.

    Answer by Scuba at 12:03 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • no lawyer just a stupid guardian ad litem that was tricked by his lying. his family looks decent and in all honesty they are decent people but they want what i want... they want dd. they told the GAL lies and stretched the truth in other areas. when i met my ex i wasnt the best mother but i also wasnt the worst mother. once he and i got engaged and moved in together he became controlling and verbally abusive. i didnt see it. in august of 09 we had a child together (my 2 and his 1) well since there is more to see about my parenting then his and no one could say anything other than i have been a great mother for the past 3 months to both my kids the GAL said that im emotionally abusive (which i will admit that i was when he and i were together because i was taking his lead) she wrote in her report that we should start to transition dd to his house then in 3 months i can have her every other weekend. im sorry but thats not enough

    Answer by mommy06and09 at 12:12 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • I would never agree to terminate my parental rights. If a judge gave me every other weekend then those weekends would be the best I can offer my child. While not ideal, it would be better than never seeing my child. Then I would save for the best possible lawyer I could. As soon as it was possible i would be taking my child's father back to court. In between visits I would attempt as much contact as possible that was not disruptive to my child. That might mean a letter, a phone call once or twice a week, a special teddy bear for my child to sleep with - knowing that his mom gave it to him. Shopping and providing the things my child needs. Even if I could not see him every night I would still provide for his needs in all other ways that I could. Childhood does not last a lifetime. My goal would be to be there for my child in his lifetime. As a child we may have limited time but as an adult I may see him more.

    Answer by frogdawg at 2:00 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • so you'd rather not ever see her again... that makes NO sense.... if it happens then you fight for calling times, and at least one night/dinner during the week. and be there for you dd always. Be there on time for every visitation, work with you ex on co-parenting, be there for every school event, every extra-curricular activity etc.etc. BE her MOM every day of the week even if you can't see her every day you are still her mom and can still be her mom for the REST OF HER LIFE!!!!!

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 6:31 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • I don't understand that, "if I can't have them all the time I don't want them at all" mentality... My son's birthmom had the right to one supervised visit a week, with ways to earn more time and eventually unsupervised time, but instead she decided to just leave. And I'm glad because I got to adopt him, and I've been him mom since he was 6mos old, but I can't wrap my head around it. No matter what the courts decided, no matter how I had messed up, no matter what the reason or past, I would work my ass off and see them every chance I got and do everything I could to be in their lives as MUCH as possible!! They are your children. It's okay to be devastated, but don't walk away!!

    Answer by Elyssa414 at 10:01 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.