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am i wrong???

i lost my job when i was 6 mo pregnant, now my son is 6 mo old plus we have a 12y/o & 6y/o too.. i take care of them , plus all the housework etc. when my son wakes up at night i'm the one that gets up w/ him. i also make sure my husband has a hot meal i make his lunches for work and so on. i am at home ALL THE TIME. he goes to work (which i am grateful for) on the wkends he goes w/friends or the movies if i go anywhere i have all the kids w/ me all the time. i went out of my way to make fathers day really special for him but for mothers day he slept all day,worked out for 2 hrs then started a fightbecause i said i was frustrated... anyway he is now on vacation, 2 weeks,i found out that he has all these plans so i asked if i could have one day to myself to go do whatever i wanted. he got mad and said "you're the only one that would be worried about what YOU'RE going to do on MY vacation!" am i wrong for wanting a day alone?

Answer Question
 
mOmMyWiFeNuRsE3

Asked by mOmMyWiFeNuRsE3 at 12:13 PM on Jul. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Level 9 (288 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • You're not wrong for wanting a day alone - it sounds like maybe there is more going on here? Is he upset with you that you're not working? Regardless, I'm sorry he's not being more supportive, every SAHM needs some alone time.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 12:15 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • Seriously, he is lucky to have a wife like you. So many women take way more time for themselves and just the fact that you're asking if one day is too much proves that you're not at all selfish. You deserve at LEAST one day for yourself. You're not wrong at ALL!
    LovingSAHMommy

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 12:18 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • Um, WOW. He couldn't at least have planned one measely day for the family? At the very least? Geez. I'd be freaking PISSED - and I'm pretty easygoing. Obviously starting a big ol' argument isn't going to help anything, but holy hell, he's being really selfish. Two weeks of vacation and no thought for his wife or kids? Sorry. Usually I'd offer some advice, but if he gets irritated so easily by you being a little frustrated that he completely ignored Mother's Day then it sounds like it'd be hard to talk to him about this. I'd be interested to know how it turns out though. Best of luck, really!
    BethLopez

    Answer by BethLopez at 12:19 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • i do think it bothers him that i am not working, because everytime there's an arguement he brings it up. but when i offer to get a job he says i can't right now because he works nights and id be on days no one would be with the kids so i dont know what to do
    mOmMyWiFeNuRsE3

    Comment by mOmMyWiFeNuRsE3 (original poster) at 12:21 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • Maybe the reason he only brings it up when you're arguing is because he has nothing that he can use against you other than that.
    My ex husband used to pull crap like that all of the time.
    I'd offer to go and get a job instead of staying home with our kids and he'd say no because he made more than enough money and that it was important for me to stay with the kids but as soon as we got into a fight he'd throw it in my face that it was "his" money and that I don't "work".
    Laila-May

    Answer by Laila-May at 3:55 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • No. You need breaks on a regular basis. Children are a 24/7 job
    MsHouseWife

    Answer by MsHouseWife at 4:01 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • No you are not wrong. Mommies need a break too. Being a stay at home mom is a 24/7 job
    victoriamom2007

    Answer by victoriamom2007 at 5:59 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • How about getting a sitter and going somewhere with him? Maybe that would help.Compromises normally work well
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:34 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • I would just not ask anymore, When he gets up one morning, hand him a list of where everything is and the baby's schedule and leave...What is the worse that can happen? Another argument when you get home? If nothing else he will realize how much work it is to be a SAHM.
    Soniam301

    Answer by Soniam301 at 6:39 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • I absolutely don't think you're wrong. I'm in a similar situation myself. My dh works, never has to worry about the children. He goes off to do something he just makes plans and goes. I have to make arrangements with my parents if I have a drs appt or something. Everything else I do I have the kids in tow. Including his 10 yo sister that we have temp custody of. I am never alone. Unless I stay up until 1 am! I've just accepted that this is how things are in my life, I really wouldn't trust him to watch them and keep them from burning the house down lol. I enjoy my children and spending time with them. But it would be nice if I could count on him to be there for me to care for the children like I am for him.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 12:41 PM on Jul. 4, 2010

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