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How to deal with...

a husband that constantly does what he wants?
We have 4 YOUNG children at home, and he's in school. I feel like i'm being left all day at times, and other times, I hear that he visited this person or went here or there while he was out supposidly going to "school" to study and take tests etc. I really feel taken advantage of. I've basically sacraficed everything so he can have as much "study" time as he needs and I still get taken advantage of.
For example, today he left around 9:45am to go to school to study and take a quiz. So after he left me and the kids went outside to sit and eat popsicles and just enjoy the weather. His sister, my SIL comes over to pick our daughter up to go to the park, which I don't mind, but she also drops the comment "last time I saw your husband he was heading down our basement steps".
So now i'm frustrated, because he was supposed to be going to school, not making PIT STOPS!
How do I do?


Asked by CAGirl4 at 12:16 PM on Jul. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Level 22 (13,438 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Guys are like kids, no sense of direction, no consideration, need to be reminded of what needs to be done.

    Answer by QandA at 12:36 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • I know the feeling. I guess that they want to have some life of their own not under control (as they see it) of their wives.

    Answer by Bmat at 12:19 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • It must be need to speak out and complain!

    Answer by older at 12:20 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • Sorry, corrections....I meant to say...we have 3 young children and i'm pregnant with #4 (8months).

    I know what his exuse for going over to his parents will be.....he so's going to be "I was trying to figure out what we're doing for the 4th"......
    I always tell him just to call them! UGH.

    Comment by CAGirl4 (original poster) at 12:20 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • To Bmat....I try not to control him. But it's like, i'm literally in pain with being so pregnant (pelvic issues) and he's well aware of this, and he takes the extra time while i'm at home with the kids to go ask his parents a question he could just ask over the phone.
    It wouldn't be so bad if he was honest with me and he told me, hey i'm going to drop by my parents to ask about the 4th. But he said he "HAD" to take this quiz and "HAD" to study for it...blah blah blah..

    Comment by CAGirl4 (original poster) at 12:22 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • To Older....I do, and he just gets upset with me, like it's my's always "I'm a scumbag"...that's what he calls himself.
    All I want is respect! I wouldn't do that to him, i'd let him know whats happening!

    Comment by CAGirl4 (original poster) at 12:23 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • tell him to shape up or ship out.

    Unless you tell him EXACTLY what you expect out of him, he's not going to change. So be blunt, be honest, and tell him it's this way or get lost.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 12:33 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • I know exactly what you are going through, because I deal with the same BS.. and frankly I'm tired of it. But excuses don't cut it. He needs to man up and shape up, or you'll never be able to work out all of your issues and will only create more.


    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 12:35 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • to xxhaseldovexx.....
    I've told him, over and over, exactly how I feel. Seriously....I'm about to give up and just live a miserable life. He'll be good for a day or two, then i'll find out he does it again. It's like little half truths and stuff like that, that piss me off and make me think..."what else is he lying about"...
    but what can I do......shape up or ship out?....that leaves me seperated/divorced with a bitter ex, and 4 kids alone. Is that worth it? I just don't know what to do anymore.

    Comment by CAGirl4 (original poster) at 12:39 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

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