Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

break up question?

I'm breaking it off with SO. We've been together 8 years,but it's not working. We have a 2 year old and one on the way.

My question is what would you do about baby on the way? Obviously I'm keeping it, be legally, how do you go about setting up for custody and child support with a baby on the way?


Asked by xxhazeldovexx at 12:42 PM on Jul. 3, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 34 (67,320 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Every state's a little different. Make sure you name him on the birth certificate as the father, get a paternity test after the baby's born. Can you & SO work out a custody agreement/child support on your own? Gather documentation now that proves how much he makes, get a copy of last yrs tax return & pay stubs. If you're gonna need a lawyer start researching & talking to them now. Most will give you a free consult. GL!

    Answer by Nyx7 at 1:27 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • The laws for such differ for each state. I would imagine that a paternity test would be ordered once the baby is born. You should discuss everything with him, then talk to your lawyers.

    Answer by neebug3766 at 12:53 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • If you are married they would treat the baby as if it had already been born, and if ypu are not, to claim him as the father for child support, you would probably need a paternity test but if I were you I get myself a lawyer.

    Answer by older at 1:06 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • No clue, I wish you luck!

    Answer by clovismommy25 at 1:00 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • there is nothing you can do until baby is born - they wont issue a child spport or custody order fort a child that is noit born yet

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 1:10 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • sad situation. ( can't u work it out? )

    Answer by 1lilgirl at 2:34 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • 1lilgirl

    no, we can't work it out.. this was our "working it out" phase and it seems that he will chug along for a while, then go back to his old ways...

    His old ways being that he won't hold a job, isn't reliable for anything, etc.

    I put in a lot of effort after my dd was born to ensure that I (ME) could provide for her and well. He obviously can't provide financially, and if he's going to go back to "hanging" out with friends and doing whatever he pleases it's not worth it. If he can't provide financially he should at least be able to provide domestically.

    Fact is, no matter how hard some people try, they never grow up.

    Like I said, I have things I want for myself and my children, and if he can't help out, then I don't want him as my SO. He can still see his children, however since I care and provide for them I want full custody with him having visitation.

    Comment by xxhazeldovexx (original poster) at 3:23 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • Yes I'm willing to work with him for scheduling such visitation rights.

    I know I can't receive child support for an unborn child, I'm just wondering how you go about establishing paternity. When we had Tessa he had to be there to sign the proper paper work claiming paternity. He couldnt sign the birth certificate and I couldn't sign his name to it without him signing the paternity paperwork. So was more questioning if I would have to file with the courts paternity papers as well for when this child is born.

    Comment by xxhazeldovexx (original poster) at 3:26 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • typically I wouldn't even bother with the court custody issue if it wasn't for the child support issue. While I'm working to support my children, I also was set back because of some mistakes we made financially (more mistakes on my part for allowing a joint account), and because I won't have medical insurance at my new job, I may need some medical assistance, and while I can apply for it, they will typically go after him for child support anyways, so if I have custody and support in place it should just be a matter of paperwork.

    Comment by xxhazeldovexx (original poster) at 3:29 PM on Jul. 3, 2010