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Are mothers who choose not to breastfeed are made to feel less of a good mother for doing so?
I did not breast feed any of mine, simply because it was something I did not want to do, but I remember specially in the hospital the nurses gave me a guilt trip, and I just think it is wrong for anyone to judge your ability to mother based on this.


Asked by older at 1:17 PM on Jul. 3, 2010 in Just for Fun

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Answers (19)
  • THANK YOU! I FF after 3 1/2 months because my supply completely diminished despite constant efforts. I never had enough milk to go without supplementing and it just dwindled down to nothing eventually. I hated not being able to breast feed because of the horror stories you hear about formula. However, I've now realized that it did not make me ANY less of a mother, nor did it make my son any less healthy. He has literally had perfect health, and is now 9 1/2 months old. We made it through the entire winter and flu season with NO illness, even though the babies of my breast feeding friends were all sick. No one could tell my son apart from a breast fed baby. A LOT more goes into a child's health than what they eat. My son has been absolutely thriving on formula, thank God. No mother is perfect, including those that breast feed, and some of them need to realize that. :)

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 1:38 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • I agree!!!! Breastfeeding is not the be all,end all of good mothering. Despite what some of the BF crazies on Cafemom say, formula is NOT poison. Based on some of the posts of some of these wack jobs, breastfeeding seems to be the ONLY good decision they've ever made so that's why they feel the need to brag about it so much and ram it down everyone else's throat. BTW, I WAS a breastfeeding mother, although I did supplement my oldest with formula ( Oh the horror!) I answer questions if anyone has any questions about breastfeeding but I don't really care one way or the other.As long as they're not starving their babies or giving them Mountain Dew in their bottles, it's NOT MY BUSINESS!!

    Answer by Bethsunshine at 1:36 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • I never thought that I was going to be able to breastfeed, let alone as long as I have. I exclusively BF my son for 4months, he is now 5 months and I went back to work, so I am only nursing him 3 feedings a day. The rest is supplemental with formula.

    I never thought that I was going to have as much milk as I got. when I was pregnant I told myself that I would definitely try to BF but if it didnt work out, I wasnt going to bash myself for it. Some mothers are able to do it, and some are not. My opinion is that its selfish if you dont at least attempt to BF. Try it... I am sure once you do, you will love it. Its such a good bonding experience and it helps with the anxiety and sometimes depression that first time mommies have. It is obviously the most beneficial thing baby can get.

    Don't bash yourself If you couldnt breastfeed, instead question yourself WHY you chose not to.

    Answer by mercilove at 2:00 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • Medical professionals and birth specialists are typically trained to push breastfeeding because it is so very beneficial to the mother and baby. Although I agree, it's a choice that every woman has the right to make. I had many issues with breastfeeding following a botched lumpectomy. It's not always easy.

    Answer by Erin814 at 1:20 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • Bc breastfeeding your child is the single most important thing you can do for their health, especially the colostrum. I understand those who can't bf for whatever reason but IMO those who choose not to bf just cuz they don't want to are being selfish. Its NOT easy! I've been bf my dd for 14 mo & there have been many times I've wanted to quit. Its not about me, its about giving her the best start she can have in life. Also, there are sooooo many chemicals in formula, those that make rocket fuel are included & there is soooo much sugar in formula it sets the kids up for the risk of diabetes later in life. Science will never be as good as nature!

    Answer by Nyx7 at 1:24 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • Whether you choose breastmilk or formula doesn't matter. Yes there are many benefits to breastfeeding. But, all that matters is that the baby is being fed. If that baby is happy and healthy then who are we to judge other moms? Yes, I am nursing, but that's only because I wanted to. And it is one of the hardest things I have had to do as a mom. There is at least one day a week that I just want to give up. It's not easy to breastfeed and anyone that says it is convenient is lying. Trying to find a way to feed a 6 month old in public without flashing your breast to the world isn't fun either. I do it because I can, and I totally understand why some moms choose not to nurse. I envy you ladies that have babies that take bottles.

    Answer by rhianna1708 at 1:58 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • "ARe mothers who choose not to breast feed....."

    Bingo! Its a choice. ITs not a failure. Its not giving up!!!!! A womans choice to feed her baby is her choice.

    Answer by 3gigglemonsters at 2:03 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • She didn't say anything incorrect.

    No, not necessarily incorrect but not necessarily correct for everyone.

    You should not question your choice, you either want to or you don't end of story.

    Agreed. What good does questioning WHY you made that choice do? So you can explain to all the perfect breastfeeding mothers on Cafemom why you're a selfish, lazy sorry excuse for a mother who should be shot for feeding her baby poison?

    Answer by Bethsunshine at 2:25 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • Nyx7, labeling someone selfish for not wanting to do is very judgemental in your part, I do not have a selfish bone in my body and my kids are full grown adults without any diseases of any kind. They never even had any of the childhood diseases!!!
    Yeah science will never be as good as nature, this is why nature didn't give me milk to breastfeed!

    Comment by older (original poster) at 1:28 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • You asked for my opinion & I gave it, sorry if its not what you wanted to hear! That's how I feel, not everyone on this site is going to agree w/ you. I answered respectfully & wasn't bashing you in any way. I said I don't judge those who have a medical reason for not bf, not being able to produce milk would fall into this category. I'm talking about the ones who can & are producing milk & choose not to give it to their baby. Again, its only my opinion!

    Answer by Nyx7 at 1:33 PM on Jul. 3, 2010