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2 Bumps

Would you leave your SO/DH because of your MIL?

I am so sick and tired of my MIL. She is always starting a fight with SO and then making him look bad to his dad. My FIL has been helping us with our bills the past month because SO lost his second job. We just don't have enough to make ends meet. Our bills are paid for this month, but we only have $5 to do us for everything else. I really don't know what we are going to do. And now on top of all this MIL has threatened to call CPS on me because SO was cussing and yelling at her on the phone, but she started the fight, telling him she wished she never gave birth to him and some other horrible things. I don't know what to do. SO put in 7 applications yesterday and I am praying someone gives him a job. I can't get a job right now because I have no one to watch DS. I sure can't leave him with MIL and my dad is not an option and my mom is in a nursing home. But I am at my wits end. I don't know what to do. But I can't have cont.

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BlainesMommy09

Asked by BlainesMommy09 at 2:07 PM on Jul. 3, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 20 (9,173 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • No I wouldn't leave your SO b/c of your MIL. He is trying his best to provide for your family. She just needs to leave your life alone and deal with her own. Do they have any kind of assistance that you can get on as far as childcare if you were to find a job? I know where I live they told me if it was an emergency they could pay for my childcare immediately if I found a job. Hang in there...things will soon get better. I am sorry that you don't have a supportive MIL though...thats just awful
    leann74016

    Answer by leann74016 at 2:11 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • this constant fighting around my DS. She is always trying to get something going between SO and I. I was thinking about our last few fights, and the last 5 I can remember was something she said/caused. I don't know what to do. I really love SO, but I am so sick of his mom and the problems he lets her cause. I really don't have anywhere else to go that is suitable for DS. What would you ladies do, Please help. I am at a loss.
    BlainesMommy09

    Comment by BlainesMommy09 (original poster) at 2:12 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • Why in the world would you leave your SO over your MIL?
    It's your MIL acting like this. Not your SO. You guys need to stick together and, not possibly leave each other at the first sign of a bump in the road.
    MomNbabyGirl009

    Answer by MomNbabyGirl009 at 2:15 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • I agree with the other two answers...

    I had issues with my inlaws for the first two years that my hubby and I were married. Things are much better now. Only time with tell, stick to your guns mama... don't let her bully you around!
    SAHMomOf3

    Answer by SAHMomOf3 at 2:15 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • If you aren't married to him, she isn't your mother-in-law, and there is no reason why you can't take your child and walk away, even if it means going to a shelter. If you are married to him, anything you say or do will only make matters worse. She already holds you responsible for the actions of her own son, so she is looking for some place to lay blame. You certainly don't want to give her any more grounds to do that. Her son is the one who needs to learn how to stand up to her, and while you can encourage him to do that, whether or not the two of you are married, I would think it safest to do it from a distance. Since she is threatening to take away your child, I would not be hanging around her and I would not give her any amunition to use against me.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 2:18 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • nannyb i think it was just easier to understand saying MIL. i say that about my SO's mom. weve been together over 4 years, just bc we dont have a piece of paper saying were officially married means nothing.
    MomNbabyGirl009

    Answer by MomNbabyGirl009 at 2:26 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • No, don't leave your husband. I'd cut that woman out of your life though. Don't answer the phone, don't talk to her in general.
    And if that's the only reason she wants to call CPS, I wouldn't worry about it. Yelling and cussing at someone on the phone (that isn't your child) is hardly anything for CPS to look into. I mean, shoot. I'd be of the mindset of - JUST DO IT THEN - and when they come to your house and see everything is alright (if it even gets that far), then she'd really feel like crap when she never saw her grandchild again. UGH. LOL. MILs!
    Blubuni99

    Answer by Blubuni99 at 3:13 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • I would not leave him over her. Especially since it sounds like he can not stand up to her. I would just not let the child be around her. Also have you tried babysittting to bring in a little extra cash?
    MsHouseWife

    Answer by MsHouseWife at 3:26 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • My point about SO, was that he lets he do this and always ends up forgiving her and letting her do it all over again.
    BlainesMommy09

    Comment by BlainesMommy09 (original poster) at 4:06 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • try sitter or friends to watch your kid.
    or if try baby sitting or you can try to sell stuff online to make extra cash
    mommytobe24

    Answer by mommytobe24 at 7:30 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

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