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How should I react?

My DD is 3.5 yrs old and she is am only child. She loves to play with other kids, no matter the age. We have a neighbor that is 7 and my DD loves playing with her, but the 7 yr old makes my 3.5 yr old cry. ( by threatening to leave if she doesn't do as she says )
It breaks my heart to see my 3.5 yr old cry over this girl.
What do I do? The parents are there, but they never tell their child to stop being mean to her. And they just don't care. I can't tell her she can't play with her b/c she loves playing with her. Will this pass?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:07 PM on Jul. 3, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • thats terrible... my daughter is almost 4 and her cousin ( BIL's daughter) is like that with her........ If I was in your postion I would realy try to find another friend for her... or if the girl is at your house tell her to stop acting like that or she will not beable to play with your daughter anymore.... at 7 years old she should know
    glamomomo

    Answer by glamomomo at 2:09 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • If I were in that situation I think I'd talk to the parents. I know they are there but maybe if they knew how much it bothered you they would say something to their daughter.
    cjsjellybean

    Answer by cjsjellybean at 2:10 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • You can tell her that she can't play with this older child, and you can tell the older child that you will no longer allow it and the reason why. Find someone else for your child to play with, even if it means going outside your neighborhood. To allow your child to be mistreated by an older child is harming her in ways that will be with her for the rest of her life. You are teaching her that in order to have a friend, she has to do what the friend tells her to do. If you don't put a stop to it now, you will regret it when your child is a teen-ager if not sooner.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 2:11 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • That is not nice. I would tell this 7 yr old nicely & calm to please STOP being mean and that she wouldn't like it if someone was being like that to her. If she doesn't get it from YOU mentioning it & continues, then I would mention it to the parents nicely and say it has to stop as its a continuous thing every time they play together & upsetting. These other parents should know better anyways and say something to their kid! Good luck if it doesn't stop time to find another friend.... one maybe closer to her age that won't power trip.
    sarasmommy777

    Answer by sarasmommy777 at 2:22 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • Thanks, guys! The thing is is, my hubby thinks she is just being a kid and that my child will be okay and I should just let it go. I feel like he is just being a man with no feelings about it... But I end up crying myself b/c I see how sad it makes my DD. When I told my DD that friends don't do treat their friends bad like that she says, but mommy she's my best friend... UGH!My hub says the 7 yr old doesnt know how to play b/c she is an only child as well. And they parents don't see it as their DD is the one making her cry. I don't want to overreact, but I don't want to let it keep happening... ugh! *sigh* (sniff)
    P.S. She does have other friends, but not in the neighborhood.
    1lilgirl

    Answer by 1lilgirl at 2:32 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • That's horrible.  My kids play with other kids of all ages and I would be mortified to find out they were mis-treating someone, especially someone younger than them.  My son is almost 9 and loves to play with the 3yo next door (who is an only child and my son is the only boy so they have a blast wrestling around).


    I would probably let her keep playing but as soon as the other kid started being mean I would make them part ways and try to explain that some people are just mean and you don't want to play with mean people anyway. 

    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 2:49 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • Ist of all if the parents arent speaking up, I have no problem addressing something like this w/ someone elses child. I would expect anyone else to do the same for me. I'm old school that way.
    Second of all, can you help your DS handle it on her own? Like ask her why she wants to play w/ someone who makes her cry? or explain that this little girl is being mean and DS should call her bluff. tell the meanie "okay, you dont have to play with me. I can play by myself." Even if meanie walks away, she'll come back. She'll get lonely.
    new_mom808

    Answer by new_mom808 at 2:52 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • My children are this exact age right now (7 and 3.5) and my oldest DD acts like way to my youngest. (But then my youngest is very smart and waits until I'm not around (because they don't get in trouble for things I don't see) to be mean to my oldest).
    I agree with others - just find her another friend closer to her age. I don't think it's teaching her in order to have a friend, she has to accept mean behavior. She's 3.5 - of course it hurts her feelings. One day she might snap and start standing up for herself but she shouldn't have too.
    Find her some other friends - ones her own age. You can do playdates or swap days with another mother (where you 'babysit' the child so they can play together and then you swap).
    Blubuni99

    Answer by Blubuni99 at 2:54 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

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