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How attached is to attached to your child?

If you don't want to let your child go anywhere without you... To afraid he might get sad without you or he may get hurt somehow? I'm a stay at home mom my son Dylan is 14 months soon and I don't let him go anywhere without me. I'm expecting another in December and I am also scared how he will take having someone else in the picture all the time. He is spoiled rotten and is always center of attention all day everyday. He is the happiest boy all the time. I just don't know how to stop worrying so much bout him getting hurt or being sad. I never want him to be sad or hurt so I keep him with me all the time. Is that not normal or what? Any feedback is greatly appriciated.

Thank you,

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Asked by sierranavada at 2:56 PM on Jul. 3, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 7 (176 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • my dd has only spent one night away from me and shes 16 months.
    I think shes still a bit too young to spend nights away, and shes away from me 3 hours a day while i work lol

    Answer by MomNbabyGirl009 at 2:57 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • I thought this way with our DD who is 3 now. when she was 21 months we had twin boys, and it was a rough adjustment and at times it still is. Just make the moments you have with your son, special and make sure you have time together on your own. Include him in helping you with the baby as much as possible, and show him what it is to love another little one, like you will. GL xoxox

    Answer by CAGirl4 at 2:58 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • I'm the SAME way. In fact this time last year I was you! lol I had a 15 month old with my second due in December. It was easier for me to stop worrying when the second baby comes. Tho I still worry of course. The separation isn't much easier.. My oldest has only every been baby sat when my second was born. And I had no choice. They wouldn't let anyone but the father in because of the swine flu epidemic. He has only been babysat one other time and thats when my youngest had surgery.(Pyloric Stenosis) Again.. Not my choice. Now Lucas is two years three months, and Ryan is six months. And aside from those two times.. They have never been away from me. And I have no immediate plans for them to be. I think its just.. I'm more comfortable doing things myself, anyone else could mess up and I would forever blame myself for not being there. So my solution is to always be there. Good Luck and Congrats!

    Answer by LucasMama08 at 3:06 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • I think it's great to have your child attached to you. I don't know that they can get too attached. I'm a sahm, and my son and I are ALWAYS together. He's very attached to me, but that's natural. I think at situations arise, he'll adapt. I was always VERY close to my mom, and the center of attention, but I never had a problem once my brother was born. Just make sure to include him and incorporate letting him help with the new baby. I think it's much worse when a baby ISN'T attached to their mom. To me, that's incredibly sad. It sounds to me like you're doing a great job. :)

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 3:07 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • I feel like that too - but in my opinion (and respectfully), I don't think it's good for the child. It's because of YOUR OWN worries that you shelter your child. The whole reason humans experience PAIN (pain of ANY kind) is to learn from it. If he doesn't get sad, how will he ever learn how to adjust to sadness? If he can't be away from you for 5 minutes, how will he ever learn independence? I don't like my children away from me either but for their own sake, they need to learn independence. It also helps build trust and help set up boundries. My children will not still be living at home when they are 40, I can tell you that.
    I understand being worried. I worry ALL THE TIME but my worry is about ME and I don't want them to be scared of life.

    Answer by Blubuni99 at 3:10 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • dd is 2 and i dont think ive spent the night away from her before. but, i definetly need my 'me' time, and go out (not often!) to do that. of course, she is usually with granma or daddy when i go. i think that it is healthy to do this. we are attched at the hip the rest of the time. i think its also good for them too, because, esp after that 2nd one comes and you are doing endless feedings and getting rest yourself, it's a hard balance at first. my dd was a bit of a terror at first...climbing everywhere when i sat down to feed ds, she didn't understand. but i did make time for her and it got better. soooo....maybe u could practice being away for short periods of time before baby comes? good luck to u and your lil one :)

    Answer by iamcafemom83 at 4:15 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • There are MANY ways to instill healthy independence in your children. Being away from them doesn't accomplish this. Let your oldest make simple decisions "Do you want to wear your blue or red shirt today?" "do you want corn or peas for dinner?" You can also do this when baby comes. "Should little brother/sister wear this, or that today?" Get a step stool for the bathroom and teach him how to wash his hands properly so you don't have to do it FOR him. Simple, age appropriate things to help instill independence. At 14 months old, he shouldn't HAVE to learn to cope emotionally without you...he's still a baby! And what mother wants their baby to feel any ounce of pain or sadness? Set aside a particular time every day to have some one-on-one time with him when baby comes, to help with any sadness he may feel. Include him with as much as you can regarding the baby. But don't forget to set boundaries too. GL mama!

    Answer by milfalicious08 at 5:42 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • I feel that way too - However I only leave to him to go to work and feel bad about that - most days lol!! some days I run for the door but I am often told that I am too attached to my child also - luckily me and my husband are both the same, we have our dates after he is in bed so we don't feel we are missing out on OUR time either.. we rarely let anyone watch him and if we do, its only MY mother - I guess more than anything, I worry because of what you have heard on the news or nancy grace, I know those stories are FAR and few between but they stuck- he's my whole world and I live everyday like its the last and I will NOT look away for a second or ever utter those "I was only gone for seconds" with him.. I am missing him While I am with him, I want to enjoy every moment I can with him.. I don't feel its Wrong to feel this way, although I don't want to shelter or hinder him either, I have to find that line though myself!!

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 9:24 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

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