Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

I have had this explained several times...

but I still don't understand it, I can't understand it. My 6 year old stepdaughter told us that her biological mother sexually abused her. Children & youth investigated and gave the case an indicated status. Which basically means that she did it. This will stay on her record until my stepdaughter is 23 years old but this monster is not in jail. They haven't even arrested her yet. They have questioned her and she is going next week for a polygraph test so the police are working on it but here's the thing that really gets me, if children & youth believe that she did this then why does she still have her other 2 children? my stepdaughter's therapist told me that she has seen where children have been pulled from homes immediately because they were cluttered or other petty things but for something this serious she still has the other children? I just can't understand this...If anyone can please answer this.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:42 PM on Jul. 3, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (11)
  • I don't know. But it's sickening, isn't it?
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 5:44 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • That doesn't seem right at all! I wish I had answers for you! Sorry you have to go through this :(
    Brandi300

    Answer by Brandi300 at 5:44 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • A lot of times when you get an "indicated" response you have to go to counseling. If she's doing that then she will be able to keep her other children. I can understand your frustration, there are a lot of times that it seems like the law works for the criminal and against the victim. Just focus on getting your stepdaughter the help she needs and keeping her away from the monster that would hurt her. Indicated also just means that there is some form of proof but it's not enough to prosecute.
    colethky

    Answer by colethky at 5:51 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • I don't understand why they are bothering with a polygraph, unless it is just to scare her into confessing. Polygraphs aren't even admissible in court. If they have probable cause that should be enough to remove the other children, and charge her in a case like this. No, sorry i don't understand it either. If she did it I hope they charge her soon. Disgusting.
    LittleWeloosMom

    Answer by LittleWeloosMom at 5:53 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • Because the sexual abuse doesn't involve the other children, that might be why she still has them. Doesn't make it right by any means, but they are not in danger in their eyes. And as far as the police are concerned, they need probable cause to make the arrest, and since she hasn't been arrested yet, they must not have PC. Which could be another reason her other children are still in her care. With her having to go take a polygraph, it seems to me like they're attempting to get an arrest warrant. Children and Youth can think that she did it all they want, but the police have to conduct their own investigation to PROVE she did it, and because it's not been proven (otherwise she'd be in jail), there are no grounds to remove her other children from the home.
    milfalicious08

    Answer by milfalicious08 at 5:55 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • It doesn't make any sense to me either. And the therapist saying that children have been pulled from "cluttered" homes is being nice. Those homes more closely resemble garbage dumps than clutter.
    rhianna1708

    Answer by rhianna1708 at 6:00 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • Are the other children boys or girls? If they are boys then she may still have them because they are not preferred targets. That is what a parole officer told me when I questioned the situation in hubs family-- his niece is married to a worthless piece of sh*t who molested his own 11yr old sister. It went to court, he plea bargained it down and basically got a slap on the wrist and as a result his young daughter (2 at the time) be taken out of the house and placed with his adopted parents and he could only to have supervised contact with her. BUT they left the boy child (1yr old) in the house-- the reason he was not the target of choice (like a girl would be).
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 7:22 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • Because the system is FUC$ED UP!


    Their goal is to keep most kids in their home and not take them out....and sometimes THIS is the outcome. My sister is a mandatory reporter and its just AWFUL when they DON'T act...

    sweet-a-kins

    Answer by sweet-a-kins at 7:28 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • Sick. Any pathetic excuse for a mother that could touch her child like that, should never be allowed ANY children EVER AGAIN.
    BridgetC140

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 9:27 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • HOw do people do this to children?? I don't understand.. I just get sick about this..
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 9:34 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.