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How do u handle seperations?

Dh and I are having alot of issues the past 4 weeks. He keeps talking about seperating from me for awhile so we can figure things out. I'm devastated. I have 3 kids to take care of. I didnt function at all after he said it again earlier over the phone. I completely shut down..couldnt take care of the kids or myself. IF we seperate I know I wont take care of the kids cause of being so depressed about me and DH. I love my kids..I really do but I am beginning to realize I love my happiness more. At least I figured that out. I love my husband more. I'm devastated with everything I am figuring out about myself. I'm calling my Dr Monday morning to get on some anti depressants..maybe that will help...but what else can I do to help myself through this hard time and to take care of myself and my children?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:34 PM on Jul. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • I enjoyed separations. I love my x too but he could make things a living hell for me. Separations are not the end, they are just a break or mini vacations which can make a marriage stronger. I would tell him that he had to help with the kids though. Let him take one or at least taken them on weekends. Tell him it's not all about him and what he wants. Find the good in it, it might make things a lot better
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:37 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • Separating was hard for me, in the beginning. I didn't realize how much I neglected myself by making hubby MY WHOLE WORLD! Sooner or later, he was bound to take a nose dive, off the high pedestal on which I'd placed him. I realized that he wasn't responsible for my happiness. I AM! My happiness should've come from within, not from outside myself or based on any one person. By re-discovering myself, increasing my faith in God, and getting a life outside my home, I overcame the pain of separation. It served as both my reality check and wake up call. I'm not a complete person, if I need my hubby's help to take care of self and our children. By learning how to stand on my own two feet, getting individual counseling and expanding my support network, I now can proudly say that I'm all woman now and a QUEEN in my own right. Sometimes the best support is hugs, not drugs. LONG LIVE THE QUEENS!
    Ewadun

    Answer by Ewadun at 6:46 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • When my husband and I separated I was useless the first few days. I stayed in bed and cried the whole time. Seriously my face was raw from rubbing the tears away. I didn't eat, didn't drink. Luckily my parents were there to watch the kids for me. Eventually I got up and got into my own routine. Within a few months I was use to being a single mom. Then he came home and the hard work really began. We worked hard on our relationship and five years later we could not be happier.
    kc932

    Answer by kc932 at 7:06 PM on Jul. 3, 2010

  • when we seperated, he kept throwing hints at me, when are you moving, staying out late, he did everything to drive me away. I was devastated, but i left becuz the things he was doing was going to make me hurt him, so i had to leave. i left for two months and I had a blast. My son and i kept in touch with him but, i enjoyed the alone time I spent with my son. He asked me one time, when are you coming home, I said i'm not, after two weeks. I said to myself if he asks me again down the line to come home and i feel he's sincere, i'll go home. He asks me again, i went home on halloween and that was 2008. things have been alot better. Give it time, try to stay with family, a shelter or friends and hopefully the seperation will bring you back together. It hurts, but try to do things for you and your kids and when he sees you all are doing fine without him, he'll change his tune.
    mrs2323

    Answer by mrs2323 at 11:18 PM on Jul. 4, 2010

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