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Anybody elses marriage being ruined by facebook?

Dh and I had a page together and he decided he wanted his own page about 6 months ago. Since then he has added 3 girls that he used to go out with and told me they were just friends from the past. We both get on each others pages and have the password and all that. The first girl started chatting with what she thought was my dh and I got a bit upset at the things she was saying. The second girl ended up messaging me on my page saying that dh was calling her and had said he wanted to visit with her. (he did) And the last girl sent a message telling him how much she missed him. Do I just let this go?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:06 AM on Jul. 4, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (38)
  • Facebook isnt the problem, your husband is. I and my DH have facebook and myspace before that along with many of our married friends. Not one of us has had a single issue with using the sites for one simple reason, we have RESPECT for our spouse and take our marriages seriously. I am very sorry that your DH is the type of guy who would do something like this. If you hadnt used facebook he would have found other ways to do these things, it may have taken longer for you to find out but it would have happened.
    3_ring_circus_

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 2:44 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • I don't think FB is the problem... I would think your marriage is the problem.

    DH and I have both had FB pages for a couple years and no problems, we both have ex's as friends on there, he has tons of female friends form HS that I don't know, and I have guy friends on mine that he doesn't know. I think that it's not a problem for us because we have a solid secure relationship.
    Blueliner

    Answer by Blueliner at 2:52 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • Both you and your DH need to have a long, serious talk. Do not try to blame. "When (this) happens, i feel (this)" are good statements to make that remove blame. Then you might want to consider getting rid of facebook. ...and if it is really serious you might consider looking into couples therapy. The marriage is usually worth saving if both parties are still willing to put 100% into the marriage. But everyone makes mistakes.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 2:14 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • I think he is probably the problem, not the facebook. Sorry, my Dh and I both have facebook accounts, we both have each other's passwords, he calls me when he's tdy and asks me to check his facebook for him to see if anyone sent him a message. I would just calmly bring up to him how this makes you feel when he is talking to these other girls. DO NOT tell him he can not talk to them, that makes you seem like the b***h even though you're not trying to be. Some guys are so blind to other women flirting it's crazy. DH and I had this conversation very early on because he was blind to it, I would warn him when a girl was thinking it was something more than friendship and then a text or something would come up (which he always showed me) and he'd be like "oh, huh, maybe you're right. better not talk to her anymore" LOL! just talk to him and let him know how you feel.
    AprilDJC

    Answer by AprilDJC at 3:06 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • Maybe you should think about canceling all FB accounts. I have heard nothing but drama horror stories from married people about these sites. Hubby and I do not maintain FB or MySpace - there is no reason to.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 2:08 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • Facebook should be called Facedrama or something, all it really does is cause problems and drama, i say drop FB altogether.
    MomNbabyGirl009

    Answer by MomNbabyGirl009 at 2:10 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • I would first of all have a really long talk with your DH and see where the hell he stands in your relationship. My DH and I stay right away from Face book it's just a bunch of bull shit and If i or my DH want to find someone like friends or a family member we call them we don't do face book at all. Try and use every tool in your bag before you end the marriage.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 2:11 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • SHE isn't ruining her marriage facebook isn't either. Her husband shouldnt have talked to that other woman and said he wanted to meet up with her. Facebook is just a way to help him do so.

    And where did she say she was pretending to be him?
    If he wouldn't have added these women whom he had a relationship in the past with (this is just asking for problems) then this wouldn't have happened. And if they were talking to him the way they were, he should have told them, "I'm married!".
    MomNbabyGirl009

    Answer by MomNbabyGirl009 at 2:25 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • He sounds so sketchy...
    he got mad at YOU, his wife... then apologized to HER, the ex?
    MomNbabyGirl009

    Answer by MomNbabyGirl009 at 2:56 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • Hmm... I just read your entire question, along w/ everyones responses. & I just want to say, to the female saying she is the problem and that she shouldnt be checking HIS facebook, stop playing the pregnancy card and whatever other BS that was said.. That this is not her fault, and who are you to jump on somebody like that? The woman is asking for advice and you come on here trying to put the lady down, come on now. This is her HUSBAND. If she wants to check his facebook, she should be able to do so, theyre MARRIED. That isnt the problem here at all, the problem that hes now on FB adding other woman and now hes brought a bunch of drama into your life that you do not need bc of these other females now messaging and disrespecting you...! Thats crazy. I think if your husband is online flirting with women, if you delete his account, its not gonna solve the problem. Hes going to flirt FB or not. I think you just need to have a long
    xxMasonsMommaxx

    Answer by xxMasonsMommaxx at 5:07 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

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