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I'm very concerned for my 3 year old!

My daughter who will be 4 in October.
She is all of a sudden very fearful of things other children her age are not. Normal experiences other children would love she is so scared to partake in these things and I don't know what to do.
My husband and I took her to the park the other day. She was terrified to walk across the walk-way to get to the slide. She was terrified to sit in the "big girl" swing.
When going to amusement parks, she won't go on ANY of the rides, not even the "kiddie" rides.(except a train) She's scared of pool/beach water. Won't go in tiny spaces because she's too scared.
I try to comfort her but it doesn't seam to help.
I'm very worried for her. I feel as if these fears are all taking away any chances for her to enjoy a normal childhood.
I see other children her age or younger enjoying themselves, begging there mom and dad to go on the slide/ride just one more time, but not my daughter. Why?

Answer Question

Asked by beccasmomabcd at 3:28 AM on Jul. 4, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 1 (-2 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • My son gets scared of alot of things. He turned 4 on June 20th. I would say just dont push it and continue trying to comfort her as much as possible. If it continues I would talk to her doctor because it is possible she has some sort of anxiety disorder. Just keep on doing what your doing, maybe offer to do things with her to build her confidence. That is what I have to do with my son and he usually gets over it when he faces his fear.

    Answer by joelsmommy at 3:31 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • you could try to slide with her. this could ease up her fears. fears are normal. sometimes she is not scared of something than all of a sudden she is specially from 2 to 3. She is being cautious. it could also be that she is already able to predict for herself what could happen if she does something. your baby is growing up!

    Answer by LavenderRose10 at 3:31 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • some kids are just that way and most outgrow it. sometimes it is just a phase. Were you or anyone who cares for her overly careful, as in afraid she would fall so she wasnt allowed to do certain things? or said anything to or in front of her about how this could be dangerous or that could hurt you etc etc. A friend of ours who was not a parent made a huge fuss about things on the floor and told my oldest that his little brother could choke and die on toys on the floor at the time my boys were 1 and 4 y/o my then 4 y/o started freaking out thinking his baby brother was going to die. Once i found out why he was acting like that i had a talk with him, then i let our friend know i appreciated the concern but that scaring a 4 y/o wasnt healthy. Sometimes well meaning people can create a fear in a child. It's something to pay attention to.

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 3:34 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • My daughter has started doing the same thing and i am very worried because we are taking her to Disneyland in 3 weeks and I don't know how she is going to react. I found that sometimes it helps her feel better when i talk to her about it and anknowledge her feelings for example:
    ME: " I know you are scared sweetie but, do you think mom or dad would EVER let anything bad happen to you?"
    DD: "no"
    ME: "well ok then sweetie, mom is right her so you know you will be fine right?"
    DD: "I guess so" (then she slowly starts to do whatever it was she was scared of)

    Now, I am not saying that this will work for your child or that it works everytime because it doesn't but, it might be something you could try to help calm her down...
    Good Luck!!

    Answer by momofone072506 at 3:39 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • Thank you all for your comments! This means so much to me! I will allow this post to be open for a little while so Moms can post more if they'd like.

    Comment by beccasmomabcd (original poster) at 8:55 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • 3_ring_circus_ , Yes, I'm afraid it is me who has some anxiety issues. I take anxiety/ depression meds. to help control it, but I still think that my daughter could be picking up on some of my anxiety s. I try not to let her see that I'm worried or anxious about certain things but I feel like she has a very good sixth sense and still picks up on these things.

    Comment by beccasmomabcd (original poster) at 9:03 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • anxiety can be genetic. There is a wonderful book called No More Panic by Claire Weeks; you should be able to get it at your local library

    Answer by rkoloms at 9:06 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • OK thanks I will check that book out!

    Comment by beccasmomabcd (original poster) at 9:15 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • I can say that I was exactly like that. I am NOT an adventurous person at all. Yet I love to travel & have extensively. I just am not a risk taker. When I started first grade, I just refused to get off the bus at school. I said "absolutely NOT". So the really nice Principal let me sit in his office everyday for a week. I colored & ate donuts. He then got a fifth grader that was my neighbor to take me to class & be outside my door when class was over & walk me to the bus. I was fine to do it all alone after one week. That is just how I am, unless I can take things slow and get familiar with them, I refuse. I never had any problems later in school. But I did wear clogs every day so I didn't have to play kick ball! LOL. Some people are just cautiuos. If she knows you are there for support & safety, that's all she needs. By the way, MY DS is going to be 4 in Oct. too and he is a thrill seeker BUT cautious about it. CONT:

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 9:46 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • Cont: Don't beat yourself up or blame yourself. Just take one day at a time and be patient with her. Sometimes forcing things causes anxiety in the child. Good Luck Mama! Remember 1/2 the fun is the journey not the actual vacation itself. :)

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 9:48 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

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