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How can i get my almost 4 year old to do her chores????

there are only 2 things i want her to do everyday.
1. Make her bed
2. Put her toys away at the end of the night

When i ask her to do those two SMALL things she throws a HUGE temper tantum and says she "CAN'T" do it...She is very very spoiled because her dad and i worked full time for the first two and a half years of her life and my MIL watched her everyday and well..lets just say we have WAY different ideas on parenting and i talked to her about how she was with my dd sooo many times and nothing ever changed which is why I am now a SAHM. So I know a lot of her behavior problems are my fault and I am working to change them but, this is one thing i am having a really hard time with!!!

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Asked by momofone072506 at 4:25 AM on Jul. 4, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 16 (1,796 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • If she won't pick her toys up before she goes to bed either throw them away or put them up and make her earn them back. As far as making the bed, I have no clue.

    Answer by itsallabtthem84 at 4:27 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • thats a good idea actually to take them away and have her EARN them back...thanks...I have taken them away before but usually just give them back in the morning...

    Comment by momofone072506 (original poster) at 4:31 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • You can't expect her to just do it... stay in her room with her, talk to her, explaining step by step how to do it so she doesn't feel overwhelmed. Praise her (even when it's not perfect), and eventually she'll do it her self. But she has to learn HOW to first... really the idea of cleaning is so foreign to kids, that they need a little help learning how.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 4:31 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • i took everything out of my daughters bedroom so all she had in her room was her bed. i took all her toys clothes out etc etc.. because she would take all her clean clothes out of her drawers and tie em together or throw em on the floor and she would make hugeeeeeee messes beyond beilief so i got tired of tellin her,,, and so her father and i took everything out.. i gave her 1 week to clean her room on a daily basis and she did every day she would make her bed and pick up her clothes off the floor that she wore that day and she did that for a week and i gave all her stuff back and now her room stays clean and im happy! lol.

    Answer by AlaSkAnMoMmYoF2 at 4:37 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • I have taught her how to do it already. for a week i stayed in her room and told her what toys to pick up and where to put them and now that is the only way she will do it...if i am in there with her. She knows how which i think is what irrates me so much that she WONT do it.

    Comment by momofone072506 (original poster) at 4:45 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • We made a game out of clean up time. I had a basket and our sons had a basket. We cleaned up at the end of the day. As for making her bed make sure her bedding is easy for her to handle, nothing too big or bulky. Praise her for anything she does even IF and especially if it is not exactly right. EVEN if it is not ALL done, praise her. It will take some time to get her to the point of doing it all and it may take more than a week. Trust me we have raised two boys who are now nearly grown up. Take it easy on yourself to Mama. She will learn but she will also grow up really darn quick. Some day you will miss those toys that are bugging you right now and you will wish you could hear her fussing "Mommy I need help" They grow up so fast.

    Answer by pnwmom at 5:14 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • Been there with the dual household, opposite views/rules and that sort of thing... My 5yr old has had chores for as long as she's shown she is capable. At her age, she feeds the 2 cats, 1 dog, & the fish (tank). She also makes her bed, brushes her teeth at least 2 a day, empties the small trash can (vanity/bathroom size), fills up the cats' water bowl, and puts the clean silverware away. She also puts her toys away as she goes along; she isn't allowed to play with a different set until the first set's put away.

    We use praise a lot when she does what she's supposed to, and we use reverse psychology when she's slacking off and say stuff like, "Yeah, I bet you can't put those toys away anyway since only big girls can do chores. I bet you can't finish in 5 minutes, can you?" Or something to that effect. She wants to prove us wrong so she'll go and do it.

    Try a reward system like . Kids find it fun to do!

    Answer by VexAzn at 5:23 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • Lots of great ideas here. Just remeber the praise when she is doing good things and lots of hugs and kisses. Good luck

    Answer by elizabr at 7:27 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • Our rule is work before play. Tell her that she can sit quietly (we had a "sad chair") until she is ready to do her chores.

    Don't fight or argue, go about your business.

    Answer by rkoloms at 8:57 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • Well with her bed I think it is hard for a kid to sometimes do that on their own depending on the size. For toys, pick up or take away is the rule in our house.

    Answer by carmadsmom at 5:05 PM on Jul. 4, 2010

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