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WHY IS IT SO HARD TO MANAGE FINANCES IN A MARRIAGE?

IS IT JUST ME OR IS IT HARD BUDGETING WITHIN A MARRIAGE. BOTH PARTIES WANT TO BE THE BOSS

 
newmommyjazz

Asked by newmommyjazz at 7:55 AM on Jul. 4, 2010 in Money & Work

Level 14 (1,750 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • It's hard because when you let just one person handle it, the other can feel like they're not in control of a vital part of their lives. It's easy to rebel if one person feels that they're being "shorted" in some way. That's where the importance of sitting down and discussing finances - goals, budgets, spending habits - comes in. You have to be on the same page, just like in every other aspect of marriage, and it's not a one time event. Finances is a subject that has to be discussed, not argued over, just as often as you discuss children, work, and sex.
    My husband and I discussed and decided before we got married that I would be the one doing all the handling and record keeping of our finances, but that we both would sit down and discuss it frequently. We both decide on major purchases like furniture, cars, appliances, etc but we've also agreed to give ourselves some personal spending money, no questions asked. It works.
    michiganmom116

    Answer by michiganmom116 at 10:37 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • I find it hard because each person has their own ideas what to do with the money. How it's spent or saved, and what priorities are before others.
    My husband doesn't think before he spends.....so the money's gone when we have to pay our insurance! You'd think it was obvious to think about, but he's oblivious!
    CAGirl4

    Answer by CAGirl4 at 9:02 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • I actually find it really easy. Just as difficult as if I was single. Im the one that does the bills and if he wants to buy something he'll ask if we have enough money. He works all day and doesnt want to deal with the stress of bills and finances. Of course he does but I try to take most of that stress off of him.
    drs1206

    Answer by drs1206 at 8:01 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • Finances is one of the topics we discussed before getting married. My husband is a little more flexible than I am about buying little things that I feel we don't need- such as he feels that buying a cup of coffee when he is doing errands is what is done, while I feel that I have perfectly good coffee at home for a fraction of the cost. But I am more inclined to decide I want an item and will just buy it, such as a DVD, while he'll decide he can wait until it comes on TV. To answer the question, no we don't really have trouble managing finances, because we agree most of the time. I'd suggest deciding on financial goals and working toward those.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 8:51 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • Only if you don't discuss it before you get married. Finances are one of the major reasons couples split up and it amazes me that people put more thought into their wedding than they do the really important things!
    My husband and I talked about our financial goals before we got married and continue to talk about them to make sure we are still on the same page and want the same things. It's not difficult. If we ever have a disagreement about whether or not to purchase something, we compromise (maybe save a little more out of the entertainment budget for next month so we can afford whatever it is the month after) which is what marriage is all about.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 5:50 PM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • You need a plan and common goal. Check out Dave Ramsey. He's my hero! He's made it so DH and I are on the same page w/ our money and saved us countless fights.
    IrishMommaC

    Answer by IrishMommaC at 8:23 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • Marriage should be an equal partnership, not two bosses. If you can't effectively communicate, or agree on goals and priorities, you should sit down with a neutral third party, like a couples couselor.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 8:53 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • My husband is aweful at handling the bills and money, I handle it all, so it's pretty easy here
    Mom2Jack04

    Answer by Mom2Jack04 at 9:19 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • I think it's you. We have never had an issue. He comes home, hands over his pay & I tell him what he has to spend on what... My DH doesn't really care where it goes as long as he can get a new game when he wants and has enough to eat on when he goes to work... Otherwise, he couldn't care less...
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 1:11 PM on Jul. 4, 2010

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